Write On!

AITAH?

(The video above is from June 2024.)

My shtick is writing trans characters. With them, I explore different ways to express gender. To transition. To be out and proud.

In real life, things are much more boring.

My trans-identity rarely come up or is an issue in any arena in my life. Not to be repetitive, but I transitioned over twenty years ago. My family accepted me long ago. There are no hold outs. And everyone I meet these days just reads me as a dorky straight white guy.

However, work is an area where I've never really been "out".  Gradually, that's been changing.

I'm a teacher and in the past I've worked with some socially conservative people, so it always felt better to keep my private life private. But the school I've worked at for the past seven years is quite liberal and there are out LGBTQ teachers and parents, so I've been more open with colleagues that I've become close to.

However, it wasn't until the end of last school year that I realized my personal business had been flowing through the gossip stream. (See above video if you're curious about details.)

Since everything went down in June (and yes, I did wind up getting the principal involved, so now admin also knows that I'm trans), I've decided to just take on a much more open attitude about who knows or doesn't know about my past. It's out of my control, so might as well go with it.

One unexpected benefit is that now I have more people to harass into reading my works on Wattpad...

Anyway, for the first time ever, this summer I became "Facebook friends" with a colleague. I'm not very active on Facebook, but when I do post, it's either about my kids or about something queer.

After one colleague and I became connected via social media, I'm sure you can guess what happened next.

Yup, that's right. Friend requests from other colleagues. Not a lot, but a few. And I pressed "accept", even if I had never discussed my trans-ness with them.

So here is the AITAH part of the story:

None of my colleagues have said anything to me about being trans after becoming Facebook friends.

Until this weekend.

See, another colleague just reached out with a friend request. I accepted. Then a few minutes later, I get a message from them. They didn't know I was trans, are totally supportive, and then shared that they are also queer, although not out at work.

Awesome.

Except... I've known for years this person is queer. I've known for so long that I'm not sure who told me.

Or maybe I just assumed?

They wear pride gear every June! Rainbow sunglasses, "love is love" bracelets. I've complimented their accessories and have had conversations with them about local pride events! I thought it was common knowledge that they were queer. When chatting with other LGBTQ colleagues about how there are so many queer peeps at our school, this person's name has definitely been mentioned.

So, here's my question: do I let them know that they are not as closeted as they thought???

Back in June, I was so pissed when I learned how people had been talking about me. But I also felt it was better to know it was happening than be ignorant.

Do you agree?

When I see this person in the morning, I'll probably say something. But should I?

Although, as a current facebook friend, it's entirely possible that this person will click on my Wattpad profile and stumble upon this very blog posting. And if that's the case, then I definitely am the asshole. 🤦‍♂️ Oops.

PS:

On a semi-related side note, this situation is basically the plot to a book I wrote and posted on Wattpad a few years ago. (Just Passing) Turns out real life is slightly less dramatic than my imagination foretold.