Lacey

Chapter 7

August 4th, 2023

I asked my boss if I could have some extra time off since I had worked overtime. He approved. This was great, since I needed some time to bait Lacey into looking like a scammer.

My first plan was to get Lacey to give me some advice on reader engagement. It was a semi-common scam in article writing spaces to pretend to offer helping a target to increase their follower count. This could be via expensive fake courses with links containing malware, promises to improve their search engine optimization which go nowhere, and so forth. Sometimes, the scammer would ask for advice first - and then turn it around and request "mutual feedback" to lure their target into the rest of the scam.

I was going to get Lacey to ask me for advice first. Her last few messages reeked of desperation for popularity, so it seemed unlikely she would be the one to first give it. I checked through the server member list for Music Refined. Lucky for me, Lacey was online. I sent this message in the introductions chat.

Archer J (08/04/23, 4:30 PM): The name's Archer J. My birthday's 08/16/02. He/him, heteromantic and ace. I mostly write about tech and music. DMs are always open, unless you're blocked. Feel free to ask me anything.

I then replied to one of Lacey's messages in the general chat.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:28 PM): Anyone listen to Paramore's recent stuff?

Archer J (08/04/23, 4:31 PM): I do, still slaps.

The next step was to wait.

...

It didn't take long for Lacey to show up in my DMs. Two minutes, to be exact. I thought it would have taken a few more days, but it did not.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:33 PM): Hi!

Archer J (08/04/23, 4:34 PM): Hello there.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:35 PM): Can I call you Archie?

Oh, she's coming on strong, I thought to myself. This won't look good on her to audiences. Especially since she's a woman.

Archer J (08/04/23, 4:37 PM): I don't mind.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:39 PM): Ok then Archie 

I've always admired your writing and your videos. You just have the smart guy factor that's so damn charming.

Archer J (08/04/23, 4:40 PM): Thank you.

I was starting to worry she'd never fall into my trap. Thankfully, she did.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:42 PM): May I ask for some advice?

Archie J (08/04/23, 4:43 PM): Go ahead.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:46 PM): I'm not very popular on Medium right now. Not really anywhere, but I'm gonna ask about Medium. I currently have like, 50 followers on my profile, even though some of my articles go viral. There's definitely no consistent fanbase for me either. Do you know of any ways to get more people to follow me and be into my content consistently?

Time to spring my plan into action. I decided to suggest to her an old beginner publication I wrote a few articles for early on in my stint. Despite the publication's popularity and the fact that the front page pieces were often commented on, my articles there didn't take off at all. They received no claps, no replies, and few reads. It took me starting on Vocal and meeting Betty to actually gain more followers overall. This was perfect for Lacey.

Archer J (08/04/23, 4:51 PM): Why yes. There's a publication called "Writer's Delight" which is really popular. They have almost 100K followers. The articles published there also tend to get good engagement, with thousands of claps and dozens of comments. I published there. It took a few tries, but I got insane levels of viewership afterwards. It's pretty easy to become a writer there, too. Just send them a properly spell checked piece and they'll add you.

Lacey's response surprised me.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:54 PM): Ehhhh...I don't know about that. I've written for a beginner's publication before, and the most I got out of it was an editor reply. The admins were also kinda creepy.

Archer J (08/04/23, 4:56 PM): Which publication did you write for?

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 4:57 PM): Storytime.

Archer J (08/04/23, 5:00 PM): I see your problem. You chose a publication run by a bunch of rich people fixated on looking generous without actually giving their writers voices. Writer's Delight is much more professional and diverse.

What a blatant lie I sent her, I thought to myself. Writer's Delight has too many writers for all of them to make the front pages.

To compensate for my deception, I sent Lacey screenshots of my analytics before and after the time period when I published in Writer's Delight. I conveniently ignored any other factors leading to my surge in fans.

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 5:04 PM): Oh, okay. I see what you're getting at. 

Archer J (08/04/23, 5:05 PM): So are you going to write for Writer's Delight?

Lacey Hannah (08/04/23, 5:07 PM): I'll think of it.

Archer J (08/04/23, 5:08 PM): Great!

Part 1 of my plan had just begun. Writer's Delight wasn't objectively better than Storytime ever was. Both had an undercurrent of toxic positivity and showed favoritism towards AI analysts (though not artists). The two main ways to get on the front pages were two strange extremes. Either write about thinly veiled spirituality and forgiveness or shady advancements in technology. The latter was more common in Writer's Delight than in Storytime.

Knowing Lacey, she'd never write either kind of article on her own terms. But if worse came to worst, her desire for more audience reach could result in her going down the rabbit hole of instant capitalistic startups. Back when I wrote for Writer's Delight, some people helped promote the editors' get-rich-quick schemes in exchange for having their article drafts queued faster. Perhaps Lacey would become one of them.

(Tumblr version: https://www.tumblr.com/talesfromasnarkylisa/764781027471310848/lacey-chapter-7?source=share)