This is not about Juliet

September blues

There is no month worse than September.

A universal truth if there ever was one.

September was my own personal hell. Some good things happened, like Grandmama finally installing elevators, and I made a friend, Ophelia. She's really nice but I don't like her boyfriend, she deserves way better. I also befriended these girls named Helena and Hermia. They were friends from last year. Hermia's boyfriend seems nice, even though i haven't really spoken to him yet. But plenty of bad things happened, too. Behold, a list:

1. I had a LOT of trouble with waking up earlier than usual. Like a LOT. I received detention for tardiness because of this. Grandmama was NOT happy (I got grounded, I don't have any hobbies outside of the house and none of my friends wanted to meet up yet so I don't know what she's trying to achieve but whatever).

2. My mother fell down the stairs and, because of that, now has a cast around her leg and trouble mounting the stairs, that's why Grandmama had the elevators installed. Or so she says, Rosalind thinks she's too proud to admit she's been having trouble mounting the stairs herself lately.

3. All of my other cousins went back to school as well, and the house has been pure chaos ever since. Like Marco will not stop screaming, it's ridiculous. I literally don't even know why he's screaming. And Livia keeps crying after school, I try to comfort her, but that doesn't always work. Everybody has new hobbies and friends, and my sister Elena's birthday party is soon, and Grandmama is STRESSED. Because she's 13 now and doesn't like anything anymore.

4. Carla Bianchi is back. That's kind of really problematic, if I'm being honest. This transition was meant to go semi-smooth, and she is not helping. In the slightest. She ran when I needed her most, so now I'm feeling weird towards her. Even though it's not even her fault, I can help but feel some sort of resentment towards her. The fact that she's a literal angel makes it really difficult to resent her for abandoning me.

5. We have set seating arrangements in most of our classes, which shouldn't be a problem, really, except some of my teachers live under a rock. I'm seated in between Lorenzo Montague and Carla in Art History. In three other classes, they're in my vicinity, which is really annoying because the thought of being around them screws with my ability to focus. Oh yeah, and did I mention she's my neighbour, so now I can't even relax in my fucking garden without fearing that she's just gonna peek over our fence (, I'm paranoid, she would literally never do this).

6. Carla likes throwing parties, lots of them, she's invited me to every single one, I've never been. But the noise keeps me up at night and drives me crazy. A simple solution might be to shut the window, but if I do that, I feel like I might choke due to a lack of fresh air or something (no, that's not overdramatic).

7. I saw Lorenzo and Carla hold hands two weeks ago, and that almost made me explode. Like I wanted to try and make up with her, but then again, if she's been fraternizing with MY ENEMY, well then, what's the point.

8. Carla has had to work with me on three separate occasions for a group project. Well, she sought me out most of the time, probably instructions from her parents. When I told Grandmama she was over the moon. For her sake, I decided to let out the part where she held hands with Lorenzo.

9. I despise Lorenzo Montague with all that I am. I despise him with my whole soul. I despise his desperate need for being the center attention, his stupid hair, his dumb grin, the way he wears his uniform, the color of his shoes (That dumb medium blue color for some reason, how even??), the way he talks, the way he walks, the way he holds Carla's hand (as if she's NOT the prettiest, most angelic person on the face of this planet??), the fact that he barely acknowledges her, while she tries her best to look slightly happy, the fact that he apparently has trouble not being the class clown, the fact that he doesn't care about anything, has no goals, no dreams, no ambitions, the fact that he probably plans on living off of family fortune, that he never shuts up and never says something relevant, rational or coherent, and that he pulls my hair in class (what is he four?), and the most sinful, wretched, disgusting crime of all, he gives the most glorious, radiant angel in the universe a reason to be embarrassed, he gives Carla motherfucking Bianchi a reason to look down in shame as her eyes say, I'm sorry he's like this. All because he's such a fucking toddler.

10. Carla Bianchi is really pretty and really kind, and I might be kind of in love with her. But she probably doesn't properly remember the fact that even though she has always had tons of friends, she was my best and sometimes only friend. I keep falling, flying till the bone crush. And it's ruining my life. Hell, the odds of her remembering anything about me at all are like less than minus infinity, and I probably changed a lot in that time, right?