As we sat down in the cafeteria, the tension was still there. Venice sat with her brows furrowed, while Dave continued to rant. Kaiden, meanwhile, was quietly listening, and I noticed him stealing glances at me. When I looked over at Trev, who remained silent, he seemed to be deep in thought.
"Gago talaga! Upakan ko iyon eh! Sino ba duon? Ituro niyo sa akin at ipapatikim ko sa kanya itong mga kamao ko," pinatunog pa ni Dave ang kanyang mga daliri. Akala mo naman talaga kayang makipagsuntukan.
"Umayos ka nga!" Inirapan siya ni Venice kaya napaayos naman si Dave. Binuksan na lamang niya ang kanyang tumbler saka uminom ng tubig.
"Bakit kaya ganun? They tend to judge someone as gay or lesbian just because their hobbies or skills don't align with their gender." Venice said with confusion. "Like, what the fuck? We can do anything as long as we're not hurting anyone else, right?"
"Well, maybe they are not yet mature enough to think that way. Actually, Lahat naman ng bagay ay pwede sa lalaki o babae. Some of us just put some malicious thoughts kaya nagiging masama sa tingin nila," Kaiden said which we agreed.
"Yes, no one should judge someone just because he or she is good at something that boys or girls don't usually do."
"Okay lang talaga ako. Hindi naman ako naoffend." I butt in and assured them with a smile on my face. Dave shook his head.
"No! That's not fine. What if someone who isn't as strong as you heard those words or questions? I know how firm and strong you are, Ivan, but the fact that they're questioning your sexuality is not cool," Dave said.
"How dare he accuse you of being gay just because you're good at that skill," Dave added. I almost choked at what he said but managed not to. My eyes went to Trev, who stood up.
"Excuse me. Need ko lang pumunta sa rest room." Kaiden nodded, and in a few seconds, Trev was on his way to the nearest restroom.
I volunteered to order our food, which they all agreed to, but Kaiden wouldn't let me go alone. He came with me to order lunch. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked me softly, his voice low enough for only me to hear.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing. Hindi naman ako naoffend dahil duon." He looked at me as if he's examining if I'm being honest with him.
Actually, kanina pa ako kabado. I'm not comfortable with the topic. I acted like I was cool about it, but I'm really not. The thought of being labeled as gay is terrifying. Natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na malaman nila. How can I explain to them that I'm gay? Fuck! This is so frustrating.
Nang kumakain na kami, nailipat na yung topic sa paparating na Foundation day. Mabuti naman at nakapag open na sila ng bagong topic. Akala ko kasi buong lunch break iyon ang aming topic.
"Trev, okay ka lang?" tanong ko sa kanya. Busy yung tatlo sa pag uusap kaya nagkaroon ako ng chance para kausapin siya.
"Yap! Pagod lang siguro."
After our one hour lunch break, bumalik na kami sa kanya kanya naming ginagawa. Trev, Kaiden and Dave went back to their practice area. Hindi naman kasama si Dave pero dahil madadaanan niya ng venue ng pinagpapraktisan nila ay sumabay na siya sa kanila.
"Sinong kasama mo na nag-ayos?" tanong ni Venice kay Jem pagkabalik niya.
"Tumulong sa akin si Shella. Buti nga at natapos namin silang ayusan." Tumango nalang si Venice bago siya muling tumingin sa akin. Pero hindi ko nalang ito pinansin.
Naging busy na ulit ang lahat pagsapit ng ala una. Konti nalang din kasi ang araw na natitira para sa aming preparation kaya naman desidido ang lahat na matapos na lahat ang gawain.Sa kalagitnaan ng aking paggunting ng mga idedesign ay naramdaman ko ang aking cellphone na nagvibrate.
From: Kaiden
If you have time, punta kayo dito. Nuod kayo ng practice.
Hindi ko napigilan ang mapangiti dahil sa aking nabasa. Hindi ito nakalagpas kay Venice kaya tinaasan niya ako ng kilay.
"Sino yan?" She went closer to me kaya bigla kong tinago ang aking phone sa aking bulsa.
"Wala! Si mama lang yun." Hindi siya naniwala sa sinabi ko dahil hindi naman daw ako ngumingiti ng ganuon kapag nagmemesage si mama sa akin.
Hindi na ako muling kinulit ni Venice after that. Napaisip tuloy ako, Kaiden is inviting us to watch their rehearsal. For what?Ayoko namang sabihin kay Venice na nagmessage sa akin si Kaiden para manuod ng practice nila. Magtataka siya, baka kung ano pa ang isipin niya.
"Guys, 30 minutes break muna. Patapos naman na tayo." Sa sinabi ni Pres ay nagdiwang ang lahat. Venice and I decided to check our friends. Matagal niya na rin kasi akong niyayaya na manuod ng rehearsal nila pero lagi akong tumatanggi kasi gusto ko na mapanuod yung performance nila sa mismong araw ng competition.
Pagkarating namin sa location kung saan sila nagpapractice ay napatingin sa amin ang ibang members. Kaiden is occupied strumming his acoustic guitar, while Trev is focused on playing the drums.
Hindi nila kami napansin.May binulong yung isang kasama nila kaya napatingin sa aming gawi si Kaiden. Huminto siya bigla sa pag-i-strum saka siya naglakad palapit sa amin.
"Break time?" tanong niya sa amin ni Venice.
Hinayaan kong si Venice ang sumagot. "Oo pero saglitan lang kami rito. Babalik din kasi kami agad duon. So ano? Kumusta ang practice? Parinig nga kami ng isa niyong kanta."
Kaiden smiled at Venice's request, then glanced at me before responding. "Sure, pero huwag kayong mag-expect ng sobra. We're still working on it," he said as he walked back to the band, motioning to Trev and the others to get ready.
Venice leaned closer and whispered, "May girlfriend ba si Kaiden? Pero parang wala naman akong nababalitaan na pinopormahan niya." Nagkibit balikat lamang ako dahil sa kanyang sinabi. Meron nga ba?
"Pogi niya no?" she asked again. "Hindi nakapagtataka na maraming nagkakagusto sa kanya." Before she could say more, the sound of Kaiden's guitar filled the air, followed by Trev's steady drumming. Sumunod ang piano na tinutugtog ang melody.
Naituon ang aking mga mata kay Kaiden na swabeng tinutugtog ang gitara kasabay ng kanyang boses na napakaganda. This is not the first time that I heard him singing, he's good. Sobrang ganda ng quality ng boses niya. Napakagwapo, buong buo.
Buong kanta ay sa kanya lang ako nakatingin. He's so good. Parang gusto ko rin tuloy matutong tumugtog ng gitara.
When they finished, Kaiden flashed a proud grin at us, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "So, how was it?"
Venice clapped enthusiastically. " Ang galing niyo! I can't wait to see you guys na magperform sa Foundation Day. Paniguradong kayo ang magiging crowd's favorite."
Kaiden shifted his gaze on me so I cleared my throat before I gave him my comment, "Yeah, you're all really good," trying to sound more casual than I felt but deep inside, my heart is now beating so fast. Sobrang gwapo niya habang tumutugtog. Parang siya nalang yung nakikita ko kanina.
We stayed there a little longer before deciding to go back to our classroom. Pagbalik namin sa classroom ay wala pa yung iba. Nakihalubilo muna si Venice sa iba naming kaklase samantalang dumiretso muna ako sa aking upuan para maupo.
Hindi ko alam, pero nakakalito na ang mga pinapakita ni Kaiden. Ayokong mag-assume, lalo na at alam ko namang straight siya.
I think all the things that have happened lately, and all the events, make me wonder about his intentions. Do those things mean nothing to him? Am I the only one who thinks they have a special meaning?
