I Don't Belong To You

Chapter 15

There are so many things she wants to ask Becky, so many things she's been desperate to know that now, only choosing three seems so difficult.

As their playlist continues to play in the background, she finally narrows her questions down.

"Done?"

She nods and Becky lets out a deep breath before gesturing towards her. "Then ladies first."

She tucks her legs underneath her and chooses her easiest, softball question.

"How was it growing up in foster care?"

Becky rolls her eyes, but smiles. "If this is what you start with, I can't imagine these other questions. I feel like you're trying to get me drunk."

She laughs and leans back on the couch. "Come on, this is an easy one!"

"That's what worries me!" She playfully slaps Becky on the thigh and they both share a laugh before she starts again.

"Alright, uhh, well it was...not great. I mean, I think that for as awful as the system can be, I think there are a lot of nice families out there. It's just that...with my condition or whatever, there were medical costs, check-ups, specialists I had to see and...a lot of parents didn't want to deal with that. So I got sent to some pretty shitty homes where they were obviously just interested in a check."

She listens quietly, watching Becky pick at the miniscule pieces of lint on the couch.

"It was hard growing up in those sorts of environments. They were abusive." Her eyes widen and shed can't stop the sharp intake of breath, but Becky quickly reassures her, "No no, it was mostly verbal."

She's only slightly comforted but the word "mostly" doesn't sneak past her.

"They just seemed to get pleasure out of tearing us down. Telling us no one wanted us or that we would never have families. Shit like that."

Becky makes eye contact with her finally and her heart breaks at the thought of a small, child-sized Becky Armstrong being told that no one loved her.

"And on top of that, I obviously was a pretty easy target, already feeling out of place in my own body. So...yeah."

"How...sorry, am I allowed to follow up?" Becky smiles gently and shrugs her shoulders.

"So, how did you end up with Rawee?"

She watches as Becky's face goes from sullen to silly in a matter of seconds.

"If you can believe it, I stole money from her."

She throws her body forward, "What?!"

"Yes, it was awful! It's still like the most shameful thing I've done to this day so please don't tell anyone but yeah. I'd been hanging out outside of a grocery store one day, just kinda not wanting to go home and she was busy talking on the phone or something. She was trying to get her keys out of her pocket and her credit card just fell right out. I picked it up and honestly, I had every intention of giving it back but then I just...I don't know, I thought to myself the world never paid me any favors, never gave me anything. So I just assumed I had to take it."

She doesn't say anything, but instead she reaches out and laces their fingers together, feeling nothing but sympathy.

"It seemed like a great plan, but then I ended up in jail and all of a sudden, it didn't seem so great anymore. And she could've pressed charges and left me there, but instead she took me to lunch. And we just talked. I mean, this complete stranger and she bought me a decent meal and pair of jeans that weren't ripped because she said the weather was getting too cold for ripped clothes. She gave me her number and address and told me to call if I ever needed anything and I still remember thinking that I didn't need anything or anyone so I never called."