I Don't Belong To You

Chapter 9

That night, or morning rather, she cried herself back to sleep. She wasn't even sure what she was upset about. It's not like she could honestly say this had come out of the blue. She knew how this was going to end. And even if she hadn't, Nam had told her that Becky was going to end up disappointing her.

And she had been right. But like any good friend, when she had come over that Saturday with three bottles of wine and ice cream, she hadn't thrown out any "I told you so's". She had hugged Freen and apologized again and again. She had even asked if Freen wanted her to come up with a plan to get her back. But she knew there was no point in that.

Becky was long gone.

It had been three weeks. And in that time, she had called.

Once. And only once.

But still, it was more than what Freen had been expecting.

She had left a voicemail explaining that she was sorry for being so harsh with her. But it wasn't what Freen wanted.

Not even close, really.

She wanted Becky to say more. She wanted her to admit to having feelings. She wanted her to want to more.

But the 13 second voicemail didn't have any of that.

Freen. It's me. I just called to say sorry for the other night. I was a complete dick to you. And that's…that's not how I want you to think of me. So…yeah.

Upon hearing it, she thought of deleting it. But realized that it was the only reminder of Becky she would ever have.

That sent her into a fit of tears and she left work early for the weekend.

It's been three weeks. And if she's being 100%, completely honest, it's been a tough three weeks.

It's not like she was in love. It's not like she felt anything towards Freen really, but the lack of stellar sex combined with the constant reminder of how things ended has been driving her insane. She hates that Freen probably hates her now. She hates that her Wednesdays and Fridays have opened back up. She hates that she cares about any of that stuff at all.

She rubs her face in aggravation.

She's been so unlike herself these last few weeks, refusing to go out and opting instead to stay in and just play Halo or watch movies. But Irin, her best friend of six years, had raised an excellent question.

Why? Why not go out? Why not enjoy all of the beautiful women and the freedom to do whatever she wanted?

In her entire life, no one had ever expected as much from her as Freen. No one had asked for days and nights and actual real dates with other couples. No one had ever asked her for anything. Because they didn't want anything more and so Becky didn't either.

Or so I thought, she sighs loudly.

But then Freen had asked for a little more, bit by bit. Being with Freen had been like giving a mouse a cookie. It seemed like she was always asking for something else. But unlike the little boy from the silly story, she didn't mind the asking. In fact, she remembers encouraging it. Telling Freen to ask her for things. And she had been willing, if not downright eager to comply.