I have everything. I'm living the life most people only dream of. At least, that's what they think. Success, beauty, luxury, it's all they see when they look at me. But underneath it all, the truth cuts deeper. People are quick to admire what's shiny and polished, pero hindi nila alam, not everything that glitters is gold. Sometimes, it's just a mask I wear to survive the expectations.
Tyler's girlfriend's birthday party is tonight, and I thought I'd make an effort. Pero alam mo 'yung feeling na kahit gusto mong ibigay lahat, you're just too tired? When the designer bag I ordered arrived right before I left, I decided, 'This is good enough'. It's not about the bag, it's about the fact that sometimes, we give what's convenient because we're too exhausted to do more. And it made me wonder, is this really what growing up feels like? That kind of tired na kahit the smallest things weigh so heavy?
The world drains you. People drain you. Lahat ng expectations, they pile up until you're suffocating. And tonight, I knew this party would be no different. Nakakapagod. My dad used to say the same thing, but I didn't understand then. Now I do. This is why he always sent his secretary to social gatherings, hindi dahil tamad siya, but because he was conserving energy. Energy na reserved for what really matters.
A text snaps me back to reality. Monica sent me the song I'm supposed to sing later, Taylor Swift. I smile. Swiftie ako since forever, so there's no need to practice. Alam ko na 'to by heart. No matter how much life changes, there are some things, some people, that stay with you, like old friends. And that, in itself, is comforting.
It's already 8 PM and the party's in full swing, but here I am, getting ready at my own pace. Deliberately late, because as much as I hate to admit it, I'm avoiding someone tonight. Noah. I told myself yesterday that I wouldn't run anymore, that I'd face whatever comes, but old habits die hard. Sometimes, kahit alam mong mali, umaasa ka pa rin. 'Umaasa kang hindi kayo magkikita', because facing him is like reopening a wound that never fully healed.
I slip into my black dress, long, sleek, with cut-outs on the sides. It hugs my body, fitting perfectly in all the right places. It's a look that makes me feel powerful. But beneath that power, there's something raw and vulnerable. And isn't that the most dangerous kind of strength, the one that hides the cracks just beneath the surface?
My makeup is simple, just enough to bring out my features. Soft waves fall around my shoulders, effortless yet deliberate. It's like a battle armor, not of steel, but of elegance. Black heels complete the look, giving me that extra inch of confidence, of defiance. 'This is me,' I think. Ready for whatever comes my way.
I stare at my reflection, and for a moment, I see someone else. The glammed-up version of me that people find intimidating. The version that makes people assume I have it all together. But they don't know that control is a game I've mastered. I control how I react. I control how I let people in. And the satisfaction of surprising them with something unexpected, it's like a blade I wield in silence.
By the time I arrive at the hotel, it's exactly 10 PM. Late, but calculated. Monica texted me to head backstage right away. 'This is it.' Tyler sent one of his guys to fetch me, and as I step backstage, I feel the weight of everything pressing in. But I don't let it show.
"Thank you for doing this special favor, Artemis," Tyler says as soon as I walk in. His eyes are full of sincerity.
"I really want this day to be perfect for her." I offer him a small smile, one that's practiced but genuine.
"Consider it my way of saying thanks for being a good friend to Monica when I wasn't around."
In life, we owe people, not because we're obligated, but because some debts go beyond what's material. Sometimes, what we owe is time, is friendship. And for Tyler, this is my way of balancing the scales.
