Eye for an eye

Chapter 15 - Back to Past

Samandar POV-

I didn't want to tell her about Sahar. I wanted Asmara to hear this from her husband. But I don't know why I told her. But those memories that were hidden somewhere flooded like fast flowing water in my heart and my mind. I couldn't control myself, I knew if I stayed there, I could have caused some damage to Asmara. So I left from there.

I sat in my car and started driving. I don't know where I was going, I just kept driving until I reached my old house. The house where I spend my happy moments with Sahar. The house where I wanted to grow old with her. I planned my whole life but that incident changed everything. He took away everything from me.

This is the first time I came here after that night. After Sahar died, Police sealed my whole house after arresting me. There is still a lock on my front door.
I gathered all my courage and took a piece of stone and broke the lock and with one hard push, gates opened.

There is so much dust and spiderwebs all around the house. I would never thought that I would see my house in this condition. There is still photos of me and sahar hanging on the wall. I picked up our photo and cleaned the dirt from it. Tear fell on the photo, I wiped the photo and saw picture of Sahar smiling.

I missed you.
- I said to her photo.

I kept that photo back on the wall, I started smiling thinking about the times I spent with her.
Suddenly I stopped on the same spot where Sahar was laying dead on that night. Those bad memories started coming back. Her last words, her voice started ringing in my ears. I closed my eyes and sat on the same spot and cried my heart out. I didn't realise when did I sleep in the same place.

I woke up with the strong sunlight falling on my face and then I realised where am I. I stood up from the floor, then I saw there's still dried blood on the floor. Blood of Sahar. I touched that floor and again a tear felled. I immediately wiped away the tear and stood up. My clothes were all covered in dirt because I slept on the ground.

I decided to go upstairs to our room, if there is everything in its place then I surely have something to wear in my room's closet. I go upstairs and opened the door with so much courage. The room was as same as whole house, covered in dirt and spiderwebs. I saw photo of me and Sahar on my wall above the headboard. This photo is of our wedding, Sahar liked that photo so much that she print out the bigger size and hang that there.

I opened the closet door and saw Sahar's clothes. I picked up her clothes and when I smelled that cloth, even today the fragrance of Sahar coming from it. This smell reminds me of Asmara too. When I first smelled the fragrance of Asmara at that police station, she immediately reminds of Sahar. Maybe that's why I was so crazy for her at that time.

I started looking at all her clothes and her belongings. Her jewellery, a pearl necklace that she always wears were there too. I picked that necklace and put it in my pocket. Atleast I can take one of her things as a memento.

When I was searching her things, a big envelope fell from her closet on the ground. I picked up and sat on a chair, I didn't remember that envelope, it was not mine. I saw Sahar's name on that envelope, it was half opened.
I opened the envelope and pulled out a paper from it. I started reading that paper. I can't understand how should I react to this. It was so much anger, regret flowing inside me right now. My blood was fucking boiling and then..then I yelled. I kept yelling until I feel my throat was hurting. I kept yelling and crying and punching on the ground untill blood starts coming from my knuckles.