The Golden Boy

11-Missed Calls

The next morning, my phone wouldn't stop buzzing.

I had tossed it onto my nightstand the second I got home, not even bothering to check the notifications that were piling up. I'd barely slept. My mind had been racing all night, the familiar restlessness gnawing at me again, pulling me between the urge to numb everything and the fear that maybe I couldn't outrun it anymore.

I finally reached over and grabbed the phone, blinking at the bright screen. Twenty-three missed calls. A handful of unread messages.

Lila.

I groaned, scrubbing a hand over my face. I'd left her last night with a promise that I was fine, that I'd take care of myself, but it was obvious she didn't believe me. Maybe I hadn't believed myself either. I scrolled through the notifications-mostly from her, some from Jaxon, a couple from Liam. But all of them blurred together into the same unrelenting reminder: people were starting to notice. I couldn't keep hiding this much longer.

Hey, are you okay?
Ryder, call me.
What's going on? Please don't shut me out.

Lila's messages all read the same. She was worried. I could picture her pacing around, her face twisted with concern, wondering what was happening to the guy she thought she knew.

But the truth was, she didn't know me. Not really. Not the parts that mattered.

I put the phone back down, letting it buzz again, Lila's name flashing across the screen. I couldn't talk to her right now. I didn't have the energy to fake it anymore.

Instead, I stared up at the ceiling, letting the thoughts swirl around in my head. The pressure that had been building for weeks was starting to crush me. I couldn't escape it, no matter how hard I tried. The racing helped sometimes, the pills helped even more, but none of it lasted. And the people around me, the ones who thought they knew me-they were starting to see the cracks.

The knock on my door startled me.

"Ryder?" It was my mom again, her voice gentle but insistent. She'd been hovering around me more lately, and I wasn't sure if she noticed something was off or if it was just the usual parental concern. Either way, I didn't want to deal with it. "You've got breakfast waiting."

I sighed, pulling myself out of bed and dragging myself to the door. When I opened it, my mom was standing there, a soft smile on her face. She looked tired, and for a second, I wondered if I was the reason why. If she could see what I was going through but didn't know how to help.

"Thanks, I'll be down in a minute," I muttered.

She hesitated, her eyes searching my face. "Are you sure you're okay, Ryder? You've seemed a little... off lately."

There it was again-that question. The one everyone seemed to be asking. I forced a smile, the one that had worked so well in the past. "Yeah, just tired. You know, school stuff."

She didn't look convinced, but she nodded, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back downstairs. I waited until I heard her footsteps fade before I closed the door again, leaning my head against the wood. I hated lying to her. To Lila. To everyone. But what choice did I have? If I told them the truth-if I told them about the pills, the late nights, the way everything was slipping out of my control-they'd never look at me the same way again.

My phone buzzed again, the sound grating against my already frayed nerves. I picked it up, expecting another message from Lila. But this time, it was Jaxon.

Bro, you good? Haven't heard from you.

I stared at the screen for a moment, feeling the weight of his words. Jaxon was always the one who noticed when something was off, even before I did sometimes. He didn't push as much as Lila, but that didn't make it any easier. In fact, it almost made it worse. I didn't want to deal with him seeing through me too.

Ignoring it, I threw the phone back on the bed and grabbed my hoodie from the floor. I needed to get out of here. Away from the questions, the looks, the missed calls. I needed to clear my head, even if that meant running away from everything for a little while.

I grabbed my keys and headed for the door, moving through the house as quietly as I could. I didn't want to deal with my mom again, didn't want to see the worry in her eyes. If I could just get away for a few hours, maybe I could think straight. Maybe I could figure out how to get everything back under control.

The fresh air hit me like a wave as soon as I stepped outside, and for a moment, I just stood there, letting it wash over me. It didn't make the tension go away, but it helped-just a little. I climbed into my car, my mind racing with thoughts I couldn't seem to slow down.

I didn't know where I was going, but I found myself driving toward the city, the familiar route to the warehouse district where Asher's fights were held pulling me in. I wasn't looking for a fight, but I needed to be around something raw. Something real.

As I drove, the phone buzzed again on the passenger seat. I glanced over at the screen, seeing Lila's name flash again, followed by another notification-this one from Asher.

Need to talk. Call me when you get this.

My chest tightened as I gripped the steering wheel harder. Asher never texted unless it was important. The kind of important that usually meant someone knew too much. The kind of important that made everything feel like it was slipping even faster.

I ignored it, speeding up as the buildings blurred past me. The sound of my engine roaring underneath me, the hum of the city streets-it was the only thing that felt real anymore. The only thing that made sense.

I didn't stop driving until I reached the edge of the city, parking in the shadow of one of the old warehouses. The place was quiet, abandoned during the day. No crowds, no fights. Just silence. I leaned back in my seat, closing my eyes and letting the quiet settle around me.

But even in the silence, the buzzing of my phone wouldn't stop.

It was Lila. It was Jaxon. It was Asher.

They all knew. Maybe they didn't know the full truth, but they knew something was wrong. And they were waiting for me to answer. Waiting for me to tell them why I was disappearing, why I wasn't the Ryder they used to know.

I stared at the phone in my hand, my heart pounding in my chest. I could feel everything closing in around me. The lies, the missed calls, the pressure that wouldn't let up.

I knew I couldn't ignore it forever. But right now, I wasn't ready to face it.

So, I turned my phone off and let the silence take over.