A Monster Like Me

A Ray of Hope

There was a moment where Dazai felt weightless; his feet no longer touching solid ground, and nothing but air beneath him. The sound of rushing wind filled his ears, cutting off all other noises except for the rapid beat of his heart. A feeling of euphoria and dread gripped him like a vice as the cold wind whipped around his body, catching his hair and stealing his breath. That's alright, I'll be dead in a few moments anyway... 

Dazai felt the impact shake through his body, everything going black for a moment. Dimly, he was aware of powerful talons gripping him around the middle, then a sense of weightlessness. The great crows have come to take my soul, he thought, knowing that death had come. Then, he felt a second impact, and everything went black again. 

Chuuya managed to grab Dazai just in time, his paws wrapping protectively around his small, delicate frame. The ground loomed up too close and too fast, however, and Chuuya knew that he would crash. Chuuya whipped his tail behind him, redirecting the trajectory of their fall into a less vertical one. Tall, dark pines suddenly loomed up in front of him, and a heartbeat before they hit, he did what came naturally. Chuuya curled in on himself, shielding Dazai's body with his own as they hit the wall of trees. 

Wood splintered, rocks cascaded down, and dirt clouded up like smoke as Chuuya came to a tumbling, sliding crash. His mind was foggy with shock and pain, and he let out a soft whimper as he felt every new bruise and bump on his body. 

Dazai...

Chuuya slowly raised his head and looked down at the small human clutched in his paws. Dazai met his eyes, his red one fuzzy and disoriented, but alive. Chuuya let out a sigh of relief, then let his head flop back down to the ground. 

As Dazai's head cleared, he realized that somehow, inexplicably, he had survived. You weren't supposed to feel pain when you were dead, and Dazai was most definitely in pain. Chuuya saved me, but why...? Dazai looked up and met the eyes of the dragon, wondering what lay behind their mysterious depths.  

When Chuuya's head flopped back onto the ground, Dazai realized that he'd hurt himself saving his life. It was written in the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and in the soft, pained whines he seemed to be trying to suppress. Dazai looked back up at the rocky pinnacle he'd jumped off of, then at the scar made in the landscape from Chuuya's crash landing. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart, and an unexpected feeling of pity for the monstrous creature. He climbed carefully out of Chuuya's grasp, then walked over to his huge, scaly head. The dragon seemed much less menacing now that he was lying still and making noises like a wounded animal. 

"Are you alright?" Dazai asked cautiously, looking over Chuuya's serpentine body, and at his mane, tangled up with branches and pine needles. The cut he'd given him on his foreleg had begun to bleed sluggishly again, but he didn't see any other major injuries. A fall like that must have hurt, though. 

"Fine," Chuuya wheezed, shifting his head a bit closer to Dazai. "Got the wind knocked out of me, that's all." He closed his eyes in pain, belying his words as he let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry... You're hurt because of me..." Dazai said quietly, his eyes wide with guilt as he began to process the enormity of what had just happened. Chuuya had used his own body as a shield to save his life. 

Chuuya grunted in acknowledgement, looking up at Dazai with doleful eyes.

"Why did you jump? Was it because of me...? I promise, I wasn't that mad; I never wanted to hurt you-" 

"No, its not that," Dazai quickly reassured, taking a cautious step forward. "I gave up on life years before I met you."

Chuuya felt relieved that he hadn't inadvertently driven Dazai to suicide, yet another part of him was deeply troubled. He didn't know the cause or extent of Dazai's trauma, or why he had given up on life so completely.