Queen Of Star and Shadow | Thranduil || The Hobbit

Hatred and Warmth

A gasp released from my lips as I stepped toward the pool. Surrounded by bright grass and tall, towering trees, the water was of no compare to what I had seen in the Elvenking's chambers. This reflected the stars of the night sky as if it were its own universe, shining and sparkling so bright, and all I wanted to do was drown myself in it. 

"Gil Ael," Thranduil said as he stepped to my side in the grass. "This water flows to my chambers, though as I'm sure you have noticed, this pool is much more beautiful."

"It's magnificent," I whispered. "It's..." I shut my eyes and shook my head. Looking upon the water again, I took a step toward its edge. Just one step. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Oh, but darling I thought I was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

I turned to him and looked him up and down, from the shining silver robes that pooled over the grass to the jutting crown. "You are so vain, I hope you know."

"You make it clear in every look you give me, Ithildin."

I studied him for a long moment. "Why show this to me?" 

The king looked up and I traced his sharp jaw and straight nose, then followed his stare to the skies. "The Aurora constellation has been veiled from my sight for many years." I wondered what number of years many would be to him, considering his vast age. 

"The Aurora constellation," I repeated, my eyes moving to a spot in the sky where the stars weren't so bright. "The daughter of the stars."

"Yes. Varda Elentari, the Valar who sung the stars into existence, has veiled the constellation from my sight for so long I had nearly forgotten the feel of its presence." 

For a long while we stood shoulder to shoulder as we stared up at the stars, up at the small area where it was slightly darkened, missing something that without it made the sky feel incomplete, unbalanced.

I finally turned to look up at him. "Had?"

He met my gaze, turning his body toward mine. "What?"

"You said you had forgotten the feel of the constellation--did you find it again?"

His gaze softened on me. "I brought you here because it is yours."

"What is mine?"

He dipped his head toward the pool of starlight but didn't dare take his eyes away from mine. "Gil Ael. There is a passage in your chambers that moves through the hill and opens to this pool." My eyes widened as I looked across the space, to an outline of a small archway in a large tree I had not noticed. "You had not found it yet so I wanted to... show you."

"I can come here anytime I like?" I rasped.

Thranduil took a small step toward me. "It will not affect you if you do--it is... close enough to the palace."

A ragged breath ripped out of me as a pull in my stomach yanked so hard I almost fell over. Then there was a searing light that flashed, so bright and blinding, but it was gone just as quickly as it had come, and I was left before Thranduil, tears falling from my eyes. 

He grasped my arms, his brows furrowed. I was sobbing, breaths raking out of me and tears streaming down my cheeks, but I could not find myself to be embarrassed for doing such a thing before the Elvenking. 

He held my arms his head tilted as he looked upon me, a line between his brows. 

Thranduil murmured, "Ithildin, why do you cry?"

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I released heavy breaths. I was trapped between hating and honoring the king before me--hating him for chaining me to his kingdom and thanking him for showing me such beauty. What layers of him lingered beneath his surface, what made him do such things?