The Boy I am

8 - His sunshine

[Trigger warning: allusion to suicide towards the end of the chapter]

Today wasn't an easy day at all, especially after all those thoughts Ashe had earlier, but he survived. As he walked out of the class, he heard Arie's cheery voice behind him.

'"Ashe! Wanna go watch today's training?"

He turned to look at his friend, who seemed as happy as ever. It was quite contagious.

"I guess I have nothing better to do."

"Then let's go!"

The duo started walking in the direction of the soccer field. Ashe listened to what Arie was telling him without complaining. He loves the sound of his voice.

"Now that I think about it, have you ever tried soccer? It's super fun!"

"Only when I was a kid, but it was only for fun, nothing serious."

And it did not go well at all. He was seen as a "weird girl" by pretty much everyone in his class. Perhaps this pushed him into thinking that sports are not for him... Then again, according to stereotypes, boys are into sports. So, if he is not, what does that mean? As he was starting to overthink again, Arie's cheerful voice woke him up, right on time.

"That's a shame! I bet you'll have fun if you try today."

"I... Don't think so."

He's not much for sports, but despite that, he could give it a try. But there's something else before that: the lockers, which means changing, with other guys around. And it was not going to happen. He still has the scars of his top surgery, and even so, aside from his body and his hourglass body, he's just not confident enough to do that. 

"That's fine! I... Just wanted to spend a little more time with you."

"Wha-... Uh?"

He was quite baffled, even more when he noticed Arie blushing.

"D-don't get me wrong, I'm always happy whenever you come to look at the training! I just think that'll be neat if we spend more time together, but... closer. Y'know what I mean?"

"I... See."

Arie looked away, scratching his head. It was the first time that the blonde saw his friend like this.

"That was weird-.. Sorry!"

"No, not at all! I'd like that too, actually..."

"You do-..?"

He seemed both surprised, and way more than just happy. He was ready to say something else, but Jayden's voice stopped him. They just arrived at the soccer field.

"Arie! Hurry up!"

"'Coming! Hey, if you don't mind, can you keep my school bag?"

"R-right!"

"Thanks man!"

The boy rushed toward the lockers, leaving Ashe with his school bag. It was really light, so it was no problem. The blonde got to the bleachers and sat there. There were already a few other people who came to watch. He puts Arie's bag next to him and waits.

The training seemed harder than last time, and so a few of the players were slightly annoyed, while some others were either having fun or didn't complain at all. Arie was having the time of his life. Despite being one of the shorter guys of the team, he was the fastest, which was more than enough to anger Jayden, who seem to consider him as his rival.

Ashe was focused on his friend... Or rather, his crush. Despite the awkward discussion before, he was genuinely happy, and so was the blonde boy. Maybe he is overthinking things again, but blushing can only mean one thing, right? The sudden embarrassment, wanting to spend more time together? He also had the confirmation that Arie is gay earlier today... Knowing all that was enough for Ashe to come to terms with the fact that he, indeed, does have a crush. It was obvious, but any result is a good result.