Aether, the enigmatic traveler who arrived in Teyvat, was on a quest to find his sister. But what if his journey held a far greater purpose? What if it was destined to awaken the forgotten memories of his past-a past that could crown him as the new...
The first time I created this book, I did it out of desperation, to be honest—probably to distract myself from reality. If it wasn't for a certain author, RazenTitan I wouldn't be able to create this amazing book right now. I just want to say, thanks be to God. That book of his helped encourage me to keep going. This is not a note saying the book is canceled, and I'm sorry for being gone for almost a week. I've just been busy with other things. Overall, I'm not proud to say this, but I'm not OK.
It's also the reason why, on my other account, the book is on hold and won't be updated until further notice. To be honest, I'm not really OK—not depressed, but just not OK. Mainly, it's because I've been hiding from my parents and grandparents how I really feel. I feel like I've been chained by them so much that I've reached the point where I don't want to go to college. It's not because I'm lazy or an idiot—it's just that I can't keep going. I've been pressured for too many years. I've been pushed so hard that I can't even make my own decisions anymore.
The biggest challenge I have right now is trying to find myself. For so many years, I've tried, but I haven't had the time because I always feel pressured. I feel pinned down by almost everyone: "Do this, do that, focus on school, school, school. Your future depends on it. That's where your full attention should be." But what about me? What about myself? I should be able to focus on me, but I don't even have the choice because it's my relatives making the decisions—they decide what they want me to do.
This has been hidden for years. I want to tell them. I want to break out. I feel caged. For years, they've been deciding for me, and I can't even make small decisions on my own anymore. Do you know why it sometimes takes me so long to release chapters? It's because I have such a short attention span—like a baby.
I haven't had time to improve myself. I feel like I don't even have the capability to focus on one thing. I'm constantly multitasking, just distracting myself from the reality I'm in. Should I do this or that? I don't even have the ability to make decisions for myself. I'm not proficient in the things I'm doing. I'm not efficient when it comes to drawing, and I can't even draw proper anatomy. That says a lot since I'm already 19. When it comes to writing, I feel like I write like an idiot. The skills I've learned over time are just there, but I haven't had the chance to truly improve. Sometimes, I don't even think I have the right to call myself a person.
Yesterday, I had a breakdown with my mom. I told her everything, and she actually understood every single word I said. Thanks be to God, I finally got it off my chest. I asked for a year to drop out of school so I can finally find myself and figure out what I want to do. I've been grinding for so many years, and now I finally have some time.
Why did I decide to tell you all this? First of all, I wanted to thank you. Your support and your reads have at least helped distract me. Writing—expressing my feelings, even in the most ridiculous ways through my imagination—has kept me sane. Thanks be to God that I have such a wild, childlike imagination, because if I didn't, and if I chose to be like everyone else, I wouldn't be writing on this platform right now. But now, I don't have to hide anything anymore. The first thing I'm going to do is improve my own set of skills that I've been ignoring, and you already know why.
But this doesn't mean I'm canceling this book. You can expect updates in a few weeks or even just days. But for now, while I'm focusing on self-improvement, I'm also going to start seeing a psychiatrist, thanks to my mom. Above all, I thank God for being with me. I thank Him for gifting me the skills that have brought me to you all. Thank you so much. This is not goodbye, and I'm not stopping or abandoning this project. This is just a note to release the feelings I've been hiding while making this book. Thank you so much.
As for what I've been doing this past week, it's been concept art for the book. I'm not done with it yet—it's just three characters so far—but overall, thank you.
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"If you're going to use this image, please note that you must ask my permission first. This is my original creation. Sheeri is an inspired OC character, as well as her race, but the artwork itself belongs to me. So, if you'd like to use it, feel free to ask my permission. If you see anyone using this art without my name or permission, please let me know."
