This Life Will Be My Last

Chapter 10 - A Banquet {Part 2}

A loud but caring and gentle voice pierced My ears as it brought me back to reality again.

“Elisabeth? What is it that's bothering you? I know you've had some difficulties since arriving here my dear” With a kind and warm inviting smile as she looked at me lovingly, like how you would expect someone to look at a close-knitted relationship

“None at all Your Majesty”

“Elisabeth? Dear? How many times have I told you can call me ‘Mother's?” The Empress questioned kindly as she looked at Elisabeth, Though she was only her daughter in-law she always liked to make people feel welcome when they are in a new and unusual place.

“Mother?” I said out loud, slightly puzzled over why she would want me to call her that

“With all due respect? Your majesty?”

“. . . “ My voice suddenly came to a halt  as I looked at her, that kind and caring smile on her face was genuine and I knew it; In this life and all the others i've been born into she was always so kind, too much for her own good.

“Empress? I don't think it would be appropriate if I called you that.”

“The court would talk if I called you that? I'm only your Daughter-In-Law? Why would you allow me to -”

“Elisabeth? The court can easily be quietened”

“They wouldn't disobey the orders of The Empress”

The Empress said sternly as she looked at Elisabeth, their eyes directly crossing paths in the room.

“Now? Elisabeth? What was it you wishes to speak to me about”

“That my audience was requested immediately”

Ah, straight to the point as usual for Her Majesty, she may be kind and caring but she's quite serious and Cold if she finds something that has wasted her time. I better make this worth her while. I need her to trust me in this life as well as my previous lives.

I can't have The Empress doubt what I'm saying.

“Are there any other preparations or invitations that should be sent out for the banquet?”

“Invitations?”
“Are The main people invited?”

“Yes mother, the main people are invited” I said calmly as I looked at her, The term ‘Mother’ always seemed quite foreign and distant to me every life that I was reincarnated into… I never Had a reason to use it.

“...”

An idea suddenly popped into the Empress's mind ashe she quickly said

“What about the Western region? We surely need to be on better terms with them”

“The West? I thought there was a conflict going on between the South?”

“Well yes, there might be that Point but still”

“An audience is an audience”

“If it helps Elisabeth? It doesn't show who we support politically, all they should see it as is a simple invitation of courtesy”

“Our banquets aren't well known in the empire for nothing”

“Ah yes, Of course mother!” I said calmly As I looked at my Mother-in-Law.

It would've been wrong to invite Them from what I knew in etiquette, it could be used as a political statement against us as it would show what side Rodwine would support.
In all terms? I think Rodwine Is usually quite neutral in the Current state of civil unrest that goes on between, The Southern and Western Region of the Empire.

I don't think I'll ever have a life where there isn't any civil unrest between them both.

“Is that all you wanted, Elisabeth?”

“Yes - that's all I wanted, mother? I Just wanted To check over the invitation list”

The word mother always seemed so foreign to Me? It was unusual… I was her Daughter-In-Law? In the court etiquette it wouldn't be appropriate for me to call her that.

“Please! Elisabeth stay for tea sometime soon, I need to catch up with you about some important documents”

“Hm?” I said calmly as I looked at The Empress Before I then quickly continued, saying calmly; I knew what she was referring to? I'm supposed to provide the empire with an heiress to the Throne and I don't know how long it can go without drawing suspicion to myself. . or Is my Infertility the price I paid for reincarnating?

“Ah , Yes yes! Of course mother! I'll be quite delighted! If we were to have tea sometime, when we aren't busy!” I said happily as I looked at her, her smile radiating around the room, the atmosphere was quite light and lovely ; Would it be bad if I said that I preferred this then How I feel around Leonardo and The Countess or just simply Rosette Toussaint.

After leaving The Empress's chambers In the Imperial Palace, I quickly made my way back to my own  returning to my desk.

The solitude was quite nice, In all honesty I am a fan of it.. if anything? I'd prefer it over the loud and reverberating atmosphere And sounds of a Banquet, All the nobles that scheme together against other houses or families in hopes to raise their power and their claims.

“I need to make it to my coordination as the Empress of Rodwine”

“I can't fail as that”

I muttered to myself as I sat at my desk, glancing at the ink spillage on my desk that hadn't Been cleaned yet, it didn't bother me really… It did not frustrate me as much as My Own husband did, Leonardo? Leo?

“I loved him with all my heart in my previous Lives? . . .  And it's always the same outcome” I muttered to myself, slightly Feeling my voice croak up at the thought of how much I cared for him, tears slightly forming in my eyes Before I then wiped Them away with the sleeve on my arms. The frills were scratchy but it didn't irritate Me. Not like how my own emotions did.

“No, I can't get distracted”

“I CAN'T”

I said to myself As i glanced around My room, taking in the all familiar solitude of it.

I wouldn't let my own emotions clouded my judgement Nor my thoughts, I had a task to focus on… I couldn't be distracted by it. Not right now, not when I was so close to finishing it.

Focusing on the rest of the invitations, inviting the Arch-Duke of the southern region and his family, various nobles from around the empire. Power Was all that important to them; they wouldn't care if they had to be the scorn or peering eyes of others as long as it got them to their goal.

Selfish? Rude? Thats one thing all the nobles had in Common…

We can't change their ways? It's inevitable.

All I'm caring about in this life is a will to lie. Until the point where I reach my coronations, that's one thing I've always admired. Since I was a young girl.

A young girl, being solely raised by her Father, who was quite the busy Grand Duke to a nanny who loved me like her own, teaching me the rights and wrongs of the world - The justice and  Injustices.

I miss them all, I miss the cold eastern winter and what summer We had?

“I'm getting lost in my thoughts again” I muttered to myself as I glanced at the sheet of paper in front of me, a few tear stains on them.
Quickly, I crumpled up the bit of paper as I quickly threw it on the floor before I then started writing and finishing all the preparations for the Banquet before New Years Day.

After probably about 5 hours of doing this continuously, I started feeling quite tired; I then went to slightly rest my head on the part of the table that hadn't had any ink spilled on it or any paper as I slightly rested my head on it.

Without knowing it, I quickly fell asleep as the nightmares I constantly got seemed to engulf my every thought of dreams while I slept. That's one thing I could never escape… The nightmares of my death in every one of my lives - all unique to one life. I never died twice the same way or under the same circumstances.