through the silence

we both messed up

When I woke up, my head was pounding, a dull, throbbing headache reminding me of the terrible decisions I'd made last night. I blinked a few times, trying to focus. The unfamiliar surroundings confused me, and for a moment, I had no idea where I was. Slowly, as my eyes adjusted to the dim light filtering through the curtains, I turned to my side.

And there she was. Jill, lying next to me.

What the hell? How did I get here?

My mind raced, piecing together the fragmented memories of the night before, but the hangover made it nearly impossible to think straight. I sat up, groaning as the movement made my headache worse, and Jill stirred next to me. She blinked, looking a bit uncertain as she woke up, clearly startled by my sudden movement.

"Hey," Jill said, her voice soft and cautious, like she wasn't sure what to say.

I stared at her, my confusion quickly turning into frustration. "Why am I in your apartment?" I asked, sharper than I intended. The fog of my hangover made it difficult to control my emotions, and the confusion of waking up here, next to her, only amplified everything.

Jill sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. "You were really drunk, Hayden. I found you outside the club, alone. I didn't know what else to do..."

"I don't want to hear it," I cut her off, not wanting to go down that road. My head was pounding, my mouth felt dry, and I wasn't in the mood to listen to her explanations. "It doesn't matter anyway."

I tried to get up, but as soon as I stood, the room spun, and I stumbled back down onto the bed. Jill was immediately on her feet, hurrying over to help me, but I waved her away. She disappeared for a moment and came back with some painkillers and a glass of water.

"Here," she said, offering them to me.

I took them without a word, swallowing the pills with a gulp of water. The tension in the room was suffocating, and I could tell Jill felt just as awkward as I am. She stood there, hovering for a moment, unsure whether to stay or leave. I pulled out my phone and quickly ordered an Uber.

"I'll be out of your way soon," I muttered, my tone still sharp.

Jill looked at me, a little hurt, but she tried to keep her expression neutral. "I can drive you home, if you want."

"No. I've got it covered," I replied flatly, not wanting to owe her anything.

A few more minutes passed in silence. The air between us was thick, and I could feel Jill watching me, as if she wanted to say something but didn't know how to start. Eventually, my Uber arrived, and I got up to leave. Jill followed me to the door, and just as I reached for the handle, she stopped me, her hand lightly touching my arm.

"Hayden, wait," she said softly, her eyes searching mine. There was hesitation in her voice, like she was gathering the courage to speak. "Can we talk? After training tomorrow, maybe? Just to... clear the air. About everything."

Her words hit a nerve. I felt the anger rising inside me, bubbling up before I could stop it. I turned to face her, my emotions finally breaking through.

"I don't want to talk to you, Jill!" I snapped, louder than I intended. The hurt that had been building for weeks came pouring out, and I couldn't control it anymore. "I thought things were finally getting better for me. I thought I was moving on, and then you had to come back and ruin everything! You broke my trust, Jill. Do you even understand what that did to me? You shattered everything between us, and I don't think I can forgive you for that."

Jill flinched, her eyes filling with tears, but I couldn't stop. The words just kept coming, each one harsher than the last.

"You went behind my back, Jill. You didn't care about how I felt. You only cared about making yourself feel better, about trying to fix things when they weren't yours to fix. I trusted you. I trusted you with everything, and you just... threw it away."