through the silence

I can't face her

Jill's Perspective

The next day dawned bright and clear, with sunlight filtering through the curtains. I woke up with a strange mix of excitement and anxiety. Yesterday had been a revelation—Hayden had opened up to me about her past, and I felt closer to her than ever, but I also realized how much she had shared. It was a lot to process, and I wanted to help her, but I was still overwhelmed. After a quick breakfast, I decided to head to practice early, hoping the extra time would give me a chance to clear my head.

As I approached the training facility, I was greeted by the fresh, crisp morning air. The grass glistened with dew, and I spotted my friend Viv already there, kicking a soccer ball against the wall. Her energy was infectious, and I felt my mood lift immediately.

"Hey, Viv!" I called out, jogging over to her.

"Jill! What's up?" she replied, turning with a bright smile that could light up any room. I loved her positivity; it was like a warm hug on a chilly day.

We exchanged pleasantries, chatting casually about our plans for the week and how practice had been going. But I hesitated for a moment before bringing up Hayden. The conversation from yesterday lingered in my mind, and I felt the need to talk about it. "So, I had a really interesting conversation with Hayden yesterday."

Viv raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. "Oh? Do tell."

I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. "She opened up about her time at Bayern. You know, the red card incident and how much it affected her. I had no idea things were that tough for her."

Viv frowned, her expression turning serious. "I had no clue either. I thought she was doing fine. She always seemed so confident on the field."

"Right? It was so eye-opening," I continued, feeling the weight of my thoughts. "She's so talented, but I could see how much that experience affected her confidence. I really want to help her, but I'm not sure how to approach it. I just feel a bit overwhelmed, you know?"

Viv nodded, her face thoughtful. "It's great that she opened up to you. That means she trusts you. But you're right; it's a delicate situation. You don't want to push her too hard."

"Exactly," I said, grateful for her understanding. "I don't want to make her feel like she has to talk about things she's not ready to share. But at the same time, I want her to know I'm there for her."

"Maybe just be a consistent presence in her life?" Viv suggested, leaning against the wall. "Let her know she can talk to you about anything, but don't force it. People open up at their own pace."

"That makes sense," I said, appreciating her perspective. "But what if she feels like she can't talk to me about certain things? What if I inadvertently remind her of the past?"

Viv looked at me thoughtfully. "You could ask her how she feels about talking to you. That way, she knows it's okay to share without pressure. You're being genuine, and that's what matters. Just keep being you."

"Thanks, Viv," I said, feeling a bit more grounded. "I really hope I can be a good friend to her."

Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of other players, and I noticed Hayden walking in with a few of the other girls. My heart raced at the sight of her, and I couldn't help but feel a warm rush of excitement. As she approached, I greeted her casually, wanting to make her feel at ease.

"Hey, Hayden! Ready for practice?" I asked, putting on my best smile.

Hayden returned my smile, and for a moment, I caught a glimpse of the shy girl I'd met just a few days ago. It was amazing how she seemed to be coming out of her shell, feeling more comfortable around me.

"Yeah, just trying to shake off the last remnants of that hangover," she joked, her eyes sparkling.

I felt a surge of happiness at how she was starting to reveal her true self. It felt like a small victory, and I thought maybe, just maybe, we were building something special here.

As we headed onto the pitch together, I couldn't help but admire her determination. She moved with a confidence I hadn't seen before, and I felt proud to be on the same team as her.

---

Hayden's Perspective

Training today felt surprisingly good, and I couldn't shake the strange sense of optimism that had settled over me. My head felt clear, and the previous day's worries seemed distant, washed away by the excitement of being back on the pitch with my teammates. The sun shone brightly, the warmth hitting my skin as I joined the others for warm-ups.

As we transitioned into drills, I felt more relaxed than usual. The familiar smells of grass and turf wrapped around me like a comforting blanket, and I embraced it wholeheartedly. I was ready to put in the work, and it showed in my movements. I felt the rhythm of the game flow through me, each pass and sprint igniting a spark of confidence I hadn't felt in a long time.

We split into teams for a classic 11 vs. 11 scrimmage, and I was excited to see that Jill was on my side. The game started off with some playful banter, and I was determined to hold my own. As we played, I found myself laughing and enjoying the game more than I had in ages. The energy between the players was electric, and I was fully immersed in the moment.

As the match progressed, I felt a growing determination. Jill and I communicated easily, our movements syncing as we worked together on the pitch. But as we transitioned into a defensive play, my mind flickered back to the conversation I had with her the night before.

Syd's team took possession, and I felt a surge of adrenaline as I tried to get the ball from Viv, who was dancing around me. "Don't worry! It's just training; you definitely can't get a red here," Viv joked, and a chill ran down my spine at her words. How did she know? Did Jill mention something?

My thoughts spiraled into a dark place, doubt creeping in. Did Jill tell Viv about my past? How much did she share? My heart raced with anxiety, and I tried to shake off the feeling, focusing back on the game. Maybe it was just a bad coincidence, but I couldn't dismiss the unease settling in my stomach.

After what felt like an eternity, the training came to an end. I walked back with Jill, my heart pounding in my chest. The words spilled out before I could think twice. "Jill, did you tell Viv anything about what I said yesterday?"

She looked at me, her expression shifting to something uncomfortable. "Well, yes, I did, but just because I thought—"

My heart sank at her words. How could she do that? I felt the color drain from my face, and all the warmth I had felt during practice dissipated. I had trusted her, and now I felt exposed and betrayed. The words faded into a blur as she continued to talk, but I couldn't focus. I felt my breath quicken, and all I wanted was to escape.

Without even waiting to hear her explanation, I grabbed my bag and turned away from her, my mind racing. I didn't want to hear anything else; I just needed to get out of there. I pushed through the door without changing my clothes, the weight of her words suffocating me.

"Hayden, wait!" I heard her call after me, but I didn't stop. I couldn't face her right now. I had to get back home. I needed space to breathe and think, away from the confusion swirling in my mind.

As I stepped outside, the fresh air hit my face, but it did little to ease the turmoil inside. I felt the tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I blinked them away. How had I let myself get so close to someone only to feel so betrayed? It was all becoming too much.

I made my way back home, each step heavy with uncertainty. I needed to process everything that had happened. How could Jill share my story without asking me first? Trust was a fragile thing, and now it felt shattered. As I closed the door behind me, I took a deep breath, hoping I could find a way to sort through the mess in my heart and mind.

A/n: a shorter chapter but extremely important for the plot!