Your words resonates with a strength born from personal battles, a strength that is both admirable and inspiring. I want you to know that your words have been read, absorbed and deeply understood.
It's sadly too familiar to hear such phrases as "But she's still your mother, you have to love and forgive," as if love and forgiveness are dictated solely by biological ties. The truth of the matter is that these bonds are dependent on respect, understanding and emotional investment. If that's absent, no societal norms or obligations can sustain the bond indefinitely.
Acknowledging an unhealthy relationship demands courage, it comes paired with the journey of extricating yourself from the situation. The bravery you show in making that decision is truly commendable.
Being a mother is not merely a title achieved by the biological process of childbirth, but an embodiment of love, support and care. A mother's role isn't limited to provisioning of basic needs or maintaining appearances for social validation. It extends far beyond into creating a safe, nurturing and loving environment for their child.
The cliché that mothers and daughters should also be the 'best of friends' indeed adds to the societal pressure. But remember that every relationship is unique, and it's perfectly okay if your relationship doesn't align with this social construct.
No person should bear the cross of another's actions, especially when those actions cause harm. Her obliviousness to your pain, her delusions, or your inability to comprehend the possible reasons should not validate her actions or lift the weight from her shoulders.
The pain of seeing celebrations you can't participate in, like Mother's Day, is a difficult emotion to navigate through. It's like a raw, open wound hidden beneath a bandage. Nobody sees it, but you feel it every single day.
Your journey towards acceptance must have been a long and arduous one. The emotional armor you've put up, the hesitation in forming relationships or the frosty moments when you spot resemblances of her within you - they're reminders of an infliction that lived too long.
Yet, know this: you are not her. You are YOU - unique, compassionate, intelligent, gentle, kindhearted and wonderful.
You aren't obliged to forgive or love her, or to keep her in your life. You own every right to protect your mental peace, to ignore those who criticize you, to dissociate yourself from negative influences, and to seek happiness.
Never allow anyone's judgement to cloud your self-worth. You're not in the wrong for defending your peace of mind and opting for a better life. Everyone deserves respect, and anyone not reciprocating it should not be granted that privilege either.
Remember, the most important person in this equation is "You". The steering wheel of life is in your hands. You get to make choices for yourself—not for societal approval, not for her—but for your own well-being.
For those who dismiss these women as ungrateful or disrespectful, remember: It takes an incredible amount of strength and resilience to stand up to an unjust reality. It's not a decision taken lightly.
At the end of the day, you're accountable to only yourself. And if I may say so, you have transformed into an amazing woman, notwithstanding the obstacles. Continue to be you, and surrender no inch of your spirit to anybody.
Keep marching on, fiercely and unapologetically, my friend!
Yours truly,
