Gifts and roses..-*

Chapter 22 -

Sanemi stood in the middle of a vast, sun-soaked field, stretching out as far as he could see. The landscape was covered in long, thick grass, waving in the breeze under the glaring midday sun. Not a single cloud marred the deep blue sky, and the heat bore down relentlessly, causing the air to shimmer in the distance. Cicadas droned incessantly, their shrill, rhythmic calls echoing through the countryside as he looked around, hand on his hip.

It had been a couple days since he returned from his marathon of missions, and despite how utterly exhausted he was, and how awkwardly everything went down with Tomioka, he will still determine to keep on trying to fix all this.

Sanemi was beyond frustrated with himself. He'd exhausted every bit of energy taking on mission after mission, and yet, when it mattered most, he'd completely fumbled. Every second he wasn't killing a demon, he'd been practicing his apology, rehearsing it over and over until he had it perfect- every point, to a T. But when Giyuu had appeared unexpectedly, all that preparation vanished. He froze, tongue-tied, unable to say even a fraction of what he'd planned. Worse yet, he hadn't even managed to coherently explain why he'd taken on all those missions. Giyuu was probably confused as hell, and that only annoyed Sanemi more. It felt like all his effort had been for nothing.

Which is why he was so determined to try again; he wouldn't let that unsuccessful attempt at fixing things be the end of it. Now, he was searching for a different way to approach the situation.

So here he was, in a field, practicing his apology as he looked for flowers.

After far too much contemplation and countless laps around his room, Sanemi had come to the decision that he would give Tomioka some flowers. He figured that anything he might offer would likely be discarded without a second thought, and he wasn't one to waste resources or materials. So, considering that, flowers seemed like a fitting choice- simple yet thoughtful. Plus, he felt that giving flowers felt sincere in a way, and Mitsuri told him that was good, right?

He wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his wrist, feeling the stinging heat radiate from the earth beneath his feet. He sighed pathetically as he looked down at the pitiful bouquet he had managed to gather so far. Half of the flowers were missing petals, some were nothing more than weeds, and the rest were wilted and floppy, as if they'd already given up in the sweltering heat.

Sanemi frowned, turning the bundle over in his hands. They were a far cry from the beautiful arrangements Giyuu had always given him, each one carefully selected and perfectly preserved. How the hell did he do it? This shit was difficult.

He sighed heavily. He had taken Giyuu's generosity for granted, never realizing just how much effort went into something as simple as picking flowers. Now, standing here in the middle of this endless field, his shirt sticking to his back with sweat, he was painfully aware of how far short he had fallen. The bouquet looked just as helpless as he felt.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath, trudging through the field. Did Giyuu really like him enough to do all this? Every few days? What on earth did he see in him to warrant such an effort?

He cursed quietly, the frustration sparking him to rehearse the apology in his head once more. He had been clinging to Mitsuri's words like a lifeline, obsessively refining his words to make sure his apology covered everything she said it needed to. It had become a mantra of sorts during his missions, a constant refrain as he tried to craft the perfect way to express his regret.

This time, he was going to do it right. He couldn't allow it any other way.

He mumbled the apology under his breath, having drilled it into his skull at this point. He thought that maybe if he got used to saying it, he wouldn't feel so awkward when it came to saying it to the other Hashira. So, he said it, over and over as he slogged through the countryside.