twin souls. (Not done editing.)

36. Now i know

Oliver's POV

"Can you believe it we've been dating for almost 4 months now!"
Amber says and I laugh.
"Yeah I can believe it! Because your the sweetest human being on earth!"
I say kissing her cheek.
"You sure know how to make a girl blush."
She says and I laugh.
I open my drawing book and a note Falls out and she pick it up but her eyes filled with terror as she reads it.
"What?"
I ask and pick it from her and read it.

Open your eyes.
Because I'm not here anymore.
I've already lost the war inside my head.
So wake up.
Stop telling me to keep fighting a long lost war.

It's the poem I got in creative writing when i started the school.
"It's not mine."
I say and she nods.
"I know because this is mine."
She murmurs and I feel like my heart just dropped.
"What?"
"Yeah i wrote this in beginning of creative writing.."
She murmurs and I shake my head.
"No,no it can't be you don't feel like that your happy!"
I say and she looks at me sadness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry."
She murmurs.
I keep shaking my head it can't be she can't feel like that! How hadn't I noticed before that she felt like this? In a shitty boyfriend I can't believe it.
I look at Amber there are tears in her eyes.
"don't cry."
I say and wipes her tears away.
I pull her up in my arms.
"I'm sorry."
I say and she breaks down in my arms.
"I just didn't want to bother you with my problems you already are with hunter And I just can't deal sometimes but after we started dating I've felt lot better lately but I still get this feeling that I just can't handle shit."
She mumbles and I wipe her tears away and let her keep talking.
"I've always been good hiding things away from people because I'm no one and nobody really cares and I was so ready to just end it but then you came and you take me opens arm and you introduce me to your amazing family which I love but I just don't know anymore I feel terrible I've already gained 10 kg and i hate it I can't look at my self in the mirror with our disgust then the way you look at me like in the most amazing thing alive pains me because how could you love someone as broken as me!"
She yells her voice echoing and I feel tear leaking from my eyes. How could I be so blind?
"Oliver?"
She asks and I look at her.
"I'm sorry you've always been there for me but is never really been there for you I'm a terrible boyfriend and you deserve so much more! You deserve someone that can handle shit but here I am watching the girl I love admitting it she's suicidal and I didn't even notice it because I'm a self centred jerk."
I say and beat the wall her hands curl around my waist and I turn around and take her to my arms.
"You saved me Oliver storm stone and for that I love you."
She says and I squeeze her in my arms not able to hold the tears in anymore.
"I love you so fucking much Amber."
I say and she squeezes me back.
•
We've been laying in bed for hours just in each other's arms.
Broken people reach out for other broken people I heard one time and I guess that's true.
"Are you nervous for going home?"
I ask her and she nods.
"You know you can always just stay over at mines if you want 'cause I'm always gonna be here for you now on."
I say and she nods and kisses me softly.
"I love you"
She whispers and I smile.
And I hear my phone buzz and I check it.
Hunter: dude when are you coming over I'm getting hella enjoyed of having all the attention! Hurry up and start showing off your lovely girlfriend instead!
And laugh and show Amber the texts and she smiles.
"You know if you had told me year ago that I'd be in a relationship with Oliver storm and have his family like my own I'd never would had believed you"
She says and is now sitting on my lab looking down on me.
"It's a good thing your mine then."
I say and she smiles as I pull her to me and kiss her.
"I love you so much Amber!"
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Okay so what did you guys think?
It was so hard to write this chapter because Amber is amazing and I absolute adore her.
But i felt like it was time for her to tell poor clueless Oliver about her mental struggles.
Don't worry you will be seeing lot more of this now and I have lot more planned.
By to be honest now I think Ollie and Amber can be lot more closer then they were because it was ways just Amber helping Ollie and he didn't even notice anything wrong with her but now he knows.