Sempiterno VI (AlanxJeff)

For now

Jeff

The time I spent in front of the mirror felt like an eternity, each second dragging on as if the world wanted to stop just to give me more time to process what had happened last night. My fingers struggled to tame a rebellious lock of my hair, and inside me, there was only one question spinning around: "What had I done?" My hands trembled slightly, and my breathing seemed more unstable by the minute. I could barely stand the thought of Alan without my cheeks flushing like embers. Last night... my lips still remembered it, the softness, the warmth of his kiss. It was as if that brief, trembling touch had changed something inside me forever.

I stared at my reflection, scrutinizing every detail. My eyes seemed to shine more than usual, a mixture of unease and anticipation. My cheeks were flushed, too red, and my lips, though no longer swollen, were still a reminder of what had happened. "How will I face him after that?" It wasn't just the kiss, it was the effect Alan had on me. His presence, his scent... something about him managed to pull me out of my little, safe world, the one I had built to protect myself from others. And now, that whole wall seemed to be crumbling, threatening to collapse.

I looked down at my lips again, biting them nervously. "My lips don't look swollen anymore... or do they?" I wondered, running my fingers over them, still sensitive from his touch. The kiss... An involuntary sigh escaped me, and I had to shake my head quickly. What was I thinking?! I couldn't afford to lose myself in those thoughts, not now.

The thought of seeing him at breakfast made me feel completely uneasy. Usually, when Alan was home, we would have breakfast together in the garden. But today... just imagining sitting next to him made me feel overwhelming embarrassment. "How should I act after what happened last night?" My heart started pounding again, and the heat rose from my neck to my ears.

"Ahhh, I can't! I just can't!" I pressed my hands to my face, covering my burning cheeks. How could I look him in the eye? Every time I thought about the kiss, my body tensed, and my thoughts spiraled into confusion. In a desperate attempt to calm myself, I remembered that Charlie always had breakfast a little earlier with Babe. Maybe if I sat with them, I could avoid Alan... at least for a while.

I nodded at my reflection, as if trying to convince myself that everything would be fine. "I can handle this, of course I can." But deep down, I knew it wasn't that simple. I hurried down the stairs, trying to avoid being alone with Alan. I wasn't ready for that yet.

When I reached the table, Charlie gave me a curious look. It was incredible how, after so much time apart, he could still read me so easily. I quickly sat down next to him, as if seeking protection. "Charlie always protected me from everything," I thought with relief.

Babe arrived a little later, giving me a conflicted look. I was sitting in his usual spot next to Charlie. "You look comfortable there, Jeff," he muttered, half complaining as he served himself, but not without a playful smile on his lips. Babe always found a way to make me feel a little more relaxed.

Charlie let out a soft laugh and helped me serve myself, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Way arrived a little later. Since the day he offered his help, we hadn't exchanged any words. Deep down, I appreciated it. Despite his cold demeanor, what he said had helped me clarify a few things. The atmosphere at the table was comfortable, familiar, filled with soft laughter and small jokes. But even in the midst of it, I couldn't shake the tension in my chest, a latent expectation.

It wasn't long before I felt it. His scent. That unmistakable mix he always carried with him, a strange combination of calm and nervousness that seemed to wrap around me. My heart instantly started racing, as if my body had recognized his presence before my mind did. Alan... Just his name in my head made my chest tighten, as if the air had suddenly disappeared.