Sempiterno VI (AlanxJeff)

Hate

For CastledKd 💗

Jeff

Each day at the Hemmawich mansion was a constant wave of emotions I couldn't entirely decipher. When I woke up from the accident, I'd lost three years of memories—a time during which I had shifted from a beta to an omega, a transition I neither understood nor wanted. Some days, I longed with all my strength to be that young beta again, the one who dreamed of becoming a soldier, strong and independent, and not this creature filled with fears and doubts who, for some reason, seemed to be the center of Alan Hemmawich's attention—the man everyone said was my enemy.

Running had become my refuge. It started as part of my rehabilitation, but over time, it turned into an excuse to escape, to try to clear my mind and distance myself from the intensity of my responsibilities. It was the only activity that made me feel free, if only for a little while. I think a lot of this stems from how protected I am and from my social anxiety, which didn't disappear even when my powers seemed to have vanished. I try to stay positive about it, but sometimes, I wish for something more.

Today, I decided to venture into the gardens of the Hemmawich mansion—a vast place surrounded by lush trees and plants stretching to the forest's edge. The fresh air, the sound of my footsteps on gravel, and my fast-beating heart... all of it made me forget, for a brief moment, that he existed.

If someone asked why I've been doing this lately, I wouldn't know what to say. Alan and I have kissed several times. Not because I wanted to, of course not; but as part of a game I somehow couldn't or didn't want to escape from. What's wrong with me? I just don't understand.

But I needed to run and focus to say what I had to say. Alan looked better now. Maybe it was time to stop. Yet, deep down, I knew it was the last thing I wanted. So now, I have to battle my rebellious heart. I started wondering if it's my omega nature, if it's just the pheromones. I still don't understand many of the impulses of this new nature. I wish it were that—it would make things so much easier. No matter what, though, Alan remains the enemy.

I stopped in a small clearing, trying to catch my breath as the echo of my run still pounded in my ears. I placed my hands on my thighs, breathing deeply, letting the fresh air cool me. That's when I felt it: Alan's unmistakable scent filling my senses, and my heartbeat quickened for reasons very different from the run. I tensed, hoping it was just my imagination... but the breeze carried his footsteps, and before I could move, I heard his voice.

"I didn't know you ran," he said, his tone carrying a faint smile.

I turned immediately, surprised, my heart unsteady. Why does he always appear when I'm trying to distance myself? I straightened, trying to regain composure.

"Are you watching me?" I asked, narrowing my eyes and forcing myself to look at him with a coldness I knew wouldn't fool anyone but gave me a semblance of control.

He smiled, that outrageously charming smile, complete with dimples, shaking my defenses once again. His eyes held a playful innocence, making me feel, in that moment, he wasn't the dangerous capo they said he was—he was just Alan.

"I was nearby and caught your scent... wanted to see you," he said softly, as if that were enough explanation.

I looked down, trying to block out the relentless pounding of my heart.

"You saw me this morning," I replied, attempting to sound annoyed, though part of me couldn't deny the thrill of knowing he was looking for me on purpose. I didn't understand what it was about his words that made me feel so strange, so vulnerable.

Alan took a step toward me, but I noticed how he hesitated, as if trying to approach without scaring me.

"It's been four hours, two hundred and forty minutes, and... countless seconds," he said with a slight pout. "I missed you."