it's dark outside. the night black and still. there's wind blowing. a familiar rustling sound. you are walking alone on a rough asphalt. going somewhere. you keep repeating it's fine. it's fine to keep walking even if you don't know what lies ahead. real danger is standing at one place. then you hear footsteps. subtle and almost not there.
"wanna join us?"
a soft tune. you think it's a bird speaking until you turn back and see her. she's wearing a loose white shirt, her long dusky legs thin and visible. her eyes are huge and round, sparkles of blue in them, hair tied in a messy bun. she's cute. but then she's a stranger.
"us?"
you ask. there's slow fear surrounding you, like pools of water around your ankles,like waves. your head pains.
"a few friends"
she points in the left direction. you gasp because you see red marks and cuts on her wrist, deep and fresh.
she catches you looking and pulls down her sleeves, gliding through the leaves and bushes and thorns. you take a leap of faith and follow her ,you heart beating faster, beads of sweat on your forehead. about ten minutes later ,she stops. the place is a neon blue, colourful lights hanging from the branches. there's food kept aside, packets of biscuits, wafers, chips, bottles of wine and alcohol and all kinds of drinks.
and then your eyes pops out. in the very middle is a small fire, dark red with flickers of orange and yellow. there are three people huddled around. the girl smiles as she sits down and motions you to join.
"hey guys, i brought a guest"
she says. your anxiety worsens and you almost plan your exit when someone holds your hand. soft and gentle. your body warms up. the boy has red hair, wavy and curly. he smiles at you, a smile at the wrong side of jaw, a tiny dimple on the right.
"hi. i am arjun"
his voice is raspy. but it cuts the sharp edges surrounding you. you look around and see smiles and hopes and dreams and love. you see love. arjun then introduces everyone. raya is wearing a pink dress,his moustache black and shiny,small siren eyes and a blue smile.
ahvi is the one who you guided you here. she's pretty and colourful and mysterious. ruksa is quiet and glowing, looking absolutely gorgeous in a black crop top and transparent shorts. arjun holds your hand throughout. you bring you knees closer and listen to the soft voices and giggles. ruksa tells about their past and how they escaped house and found home. they have a twinkling smile that shoots fireworks into the sky. raya laughs a lot, he adds jokes and tells about how his way for dressing led him to bullying in school and how he eventually left the toxic environment.ahvi sings a song and you feel a light take birth in your heart. a small ball of light. still young but very present and very comforting. ahvi and arjun tell about how they never knew their parents, that they met eachother on a road one day and decided to stick together. all lost strangers collected in one place. the fire never goes off completely.
and when your turn comes,you shiver under their gazes. your hand feels sticky and sweaty under arjun's hold but he doesn't seem bothered by it. you take a deep breath,look into ruksa's encouraging eyes and tell about how your dad had abused you, fingers creeping inside your skirt, and all you could think of and feel was pain. and you had felt violated and dirty and wanted to die. as you narrate it,you expect them(strangers around the fire) to look at you with disgust but you see anger in ahvi's eyes as she leans forward and hugs you. you wrap your arms around her neck and let your tears flow. you cry and cry until you can't anymore.
ahvi pulls back and pushes your fringes to the side. "you are brave. very very brave. it wasn't your fault. that asshole is going to hell. you are safe. ok? you are safe with us,we love you"
you nod and rest your head on her shoulder.
ruksa is sitting closer now, they kiss your forehead, resting their forehead against yours. you can feel their breath and you feel safe.
arjun is wrapped behind you, raya holding your other hand. they tell you it's ok and that they love you and all of you cuddle close. it feels like home.
then ahvi gets up to make noodles. arjun leaves a kiss on your wrist and follows her. you hear soft voices and then you see him press his lips on hers, soft and gentle and fierce,full of love. you feel something burn inside you. the ball of light grows bigger. ahvi catches you looking at her. you feel your cheeks redden and look down.ahvi comes closer , uncertain and hesitant. arjun just smirks. raya and ruksa are watching with sleepy eyes, still wrapped around each other.
"is this ok?"
ahvi asks as she rests her forehead against yours. you nod. and then your lips touch. as soft as petals of a flower.she smells of roses and freshwater. and when she pulls apart, you kiss the red marks on her wrist one by one. arjun comes next,his eyes shining and a silly grin, he kisses the corner of your mouth, all soft and then you bite his lips. the kiss lasts for ten seconds and you feel your chest expand with so much love you can't control. ruksa climbs on your lap, their eyes half closed as they miss your mouth by inches and instead kiss your chin, their face falling into the crook of your neck. you wrap your arms around them, and breathe in their scent. dark and sour but like home. raya presses a kiss on ruksa's head and then to your mouth,all fierce and passionate, you suck in his gasps and sounds until you feel weak at your knees, heart filled with something you can't put words to. all you know is that you want this. you want them. all of them. you want to kiss them and laugh and talk and be there for them.
you feel tears pour out of your eyes,golden ones. arjun giggles as he gently wipes them
"you are one of us now baby"
the word baby makes you feel young and loved. your cheeks become pink as you pout at him. ahvi presses another kiss and another and another until you both are laughing. but then raya keeps a finger on his lips
"shh" and then you realise ruksa is still asleep on your lap. you hold them tighter.
for the first time fire doesn't seem dangerous. because it was around the fire that you found the loves of your life.
