Her Psychotic Laugh

Chapter 1

"I hate my life."

I already received the result for my college entrance exam.  My dream university is not for me. I failed. I failed my entrance exam. I'm such a failure. How can I fail in this one opportunity? My family is expecting me to study at this university. Fuck.

I am nervous and wrecked at the same time but still l can smile widely in front of my best friend. She is of the legal age and I am the only visitor she has since the birthday celebration was a surprise. I am gritting my teeth while looking at my favourite chicken.

I'm sorry about my chicken, I can't enjoy you today.

"Tangina, below quota ako pareho. Shet. Sayang! Isang point pa pasok na sana sa Civil!" I munched my food again and again.

"Waitlisted ako sa Geodetic. Putcha." She gave me the cup of salad.

"Paano na tayo nito, badtrip."

"Mag-hintay na lang tayo sa open slot. Meron pa iyan madami pa 'yan."

I nodded but I'm still nervous about my college life. I decided to think about it later and enjoy the food.

"Apple, mas maganda sana kung nandito si Shara. Huhu, makakapagchismisan sana. "

Umismid siya at sinubo ang hawak na cassava cake. "Biglaan lang kasi, hindi ko din alam na may handaan si ma."

I smirked. "Yiiih, love siya ni mama niya."

Apple just shrugged and looked at the sky full of dazzling stars. So, I look at those stars too and I am lost with their beauty. Every time I stare at them I forget my problems. I closed my eyes and wished.

I wish to study at my dream university. I know I failed but I know I can pursue it again. I don't want to lose this chance. My family can't afford a private school.

I sighed and smiled again. "Thank you, teh. Nabusog ako."

She stood up and got my plate. I stare at her back. I am grateful to have her in my senior high school days. I'm glad I changed schools after I graduated from high school. I am given a chance to get to know someone like her.

"Ipahatid ka kita kay, Tita. " She handed me the cellophane with tupperwares inside. "Ingat."

I laughed and teased her again before I left. I am walking now and crying silently while holding the cellophane tightly. I stopped in the middle of darkness and let my tears flow freely. I am disappointed in myself.

After, I regained my strength and hope I stood up and continued to reach my home. I am smiling widely again like there's nothing brothering me. I opened the door and saw my mother's worried eyes. I crumpled.

"Nakita mo na results?" There's a moist in her eyes and worries to my father's eyes.

On the other hand my sister teased me about the exam. I cried in front of them while trying to smile again but I failed. My tita called that night and gave me advice and motivation. I am glad to have them but my aching heart is not listening so I cried the whole night. I was sleepless. I was doomed.

Morning came and I pretend nothing happened but my sister kept mentioning it until I became irritated. I am not in the mood to play with her games. My mother misunderstood my actions and angry about it. I hate myself and now I'm getting mad. I hate that I'm pointing my anger towards them. I choose to stay in silence instead of arguing with them.

I go to school with my pretending smile again. I'm sick of it but fortunately mastered it and no one noticed that it was a fake. My classmates are rejoicing about the result and I'm happy for them. My president and my other best friend are top notch in the exam.