Maybe This Time

003

Two weeks after the party, Orm still couldn't shake the impact of seeing Lingling again. Memories kept surfacing and the emotions that came with them were anything but simple.

She decided to meet with her best friend, Susie, hoping she could provide some clarity. Susie had always been fiercely protective of Orm, especially after the painful end of her marriage to Lingling. Orm knew Susie would be honest perhaps brutally so.

Orm and Susie sat in Susie's cozy dining room, the scent of homemade Pad Kra Pao filling the air. They ate in companionable silence, though Susie kept shooting Orm curious glances, sensing there was more on her mind.

Finally, Susie put down her fork, crossing her arms. "Alright, Orm, spill. I know you too well.. you've been distracted all night, what's going on?"

Orm looked down, fidgeting with her napkin. "I... ran into Ling at the party. Two weeks ago."

Susie's expression darkened instantly. "Lingling? As in your ex-wife Lingling?"

Orm nodded, feeling a knot of emotions sweli up inside her. "It was unexpected. I didn't think I'd see her again and now... I don't know. It's stirred up a lot of old memories."

Susie's eyes softened slightly, but her tone remained firm. "Orm, after everything she put you through, you're allowed to feel conflicted. But remember how she treated you. She took you for granted, hurt you over and over. And you've come a long way since then."

Orm sighed, her voice barely a whisper. "I know.. and part of me thinks l've moved on. But seeing her again brought back... feelings I thought I'd let go of."

Susie leaned in, her face concerned but skeptical. "Feelings, or just old habits? Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, especially when it comes to someone who used to mean everything to you."

Orm glanced up, her eyes troubled. "I don't know. Seeing her... it hurt, but it also reminded me of the good times. The early days, before everything went wrong. We were so happy, Susie.."

Susie's face softened, but she didn't relent. "And what about everything that came after those good times? How she made you feel so alone, even when you were supposed to be a team? Don't let nostalgia trick you into forgetting what she put you through, Orm."

Orm's voice broke slightly. "I want to forgive her, Susie. Part of me wants to believe that maybe... maybe she's changed. But another part of me wants to stay cold, to keep that distance so I don't get hurt again."

Susie's gaze softened, her protective anger fading into gentle understanding. "I get it, Orm. You don't want to close the door completely, but you don't want to walk back into the same heartbreak either."

Orm nodded, biting her lip. "Exactly. I feel like I'm caught in this limbo, and I don't know if I'll ever really move past it."

Just as she finished speaking, her phone vibrated on the table. She glanced at the screen, her eyes widening slightly. It was a message from Lingling.

Susie noticed her reaction instantly. "What is it?"

Orm hesitated before showing her the screen..

Lingling: Orm, I know it's been a while, but would you meet me for coffee? I'a just like to talk, if you're willing.

Susie's eyebrows shot up, suspicion flashing in her eyes. "So she just shows up after all this time and wants a coffee chat? You don't owe her anything, Orm."

Orm took a deep breath, her gaze lingering on the message. "I know. But maybe... maybe I need to face this. To get closure, if nothing else."

Susie let out a sigh, placing a comforting hand on Orm's arm. "Alright, but promise me you'll keep your guard up. Don't let her hurt you again."

Orm gave her a small smile, nodding. "I promise."

The next morning, Orm walked into the café Lingling had suggested. The door made a clinging sound of a bell as Lingling noticed turning her head over to Orm.

She spotted Lingling seated by a corner window, looking nervous yet hopeful. Lingling stood up as Orm approached, offering a tentative smile.

"Orm," Lingling greeted softly.

Orm nodded, sitting across from her. "Ling."

Lingling looked down, wrapping her hands around her coffee cup as she gathered her thoughts. "Thank you for meeting me. I know this might be uncomfortable, but... I just wanted to talk."

Orm kept her tone neutral, masking her emotions. "What do you want to talk about?"

Lingling looked up, her eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and longing. "Seeing you at the party, it brought back a lot of memories. I know I hurt you, Orm. I can't change what I did, but I needed to say I'm sorry. For everything."

Orm's face remained guarded. "An apology won't change the past, Ling. It won't undo the years I spent feeling like I wasn't enough for you."

Lingling's shoulders sagged, pain flickering in her eyes. "I know. I know I failed you, and I hate myself for it. But... I've changed, Orm. I've had a lot of time to think, and I realize now how much I took you for granted."

Orm looked down, a hint of bitterness creeping into her voice. "It's a little late for that, don't you think? We're not the same people we were back then, we were young.. to realize that."

Lingling nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe. But part of me wishes we could go back. To those early days, when we were so happy."

Orm's expression softened for a moment as memories flooded back late night talks, laughter, quiet mornings spent in each other's arms. But those memories quickly faded, replaced by the pain Lingling had caused.

"You know, I used to think about those times, too," Orm admitted quietly. "But then I remember the loneliness, the disappointment. The feeling of always coming second to everything else in your life."

Lingling's eyes filled with remorse. "I was selfish, Orm. I thought that if I worked hard, if I pushed myself, it would somehow make everything better for us. But I see now that all I did was push you away."

Orm took a deep breath letting Lingling's words sink in. She could feel a small part of herself softening, a part that still remembered the love they had once shared. But she knew she couldn't let herself get lost in those feelings again.

"Ling," Orm began, her voice steadier. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you completely. "You broke my trust in ways I can't just forget."

Lingling nodded, her face filled with quiet resignation. "I understand. And I won't ask for anything more than that. I just... I needed you to know how sorry I am."

They sat in silence for a moment, both lost in their thoughts. Lingling reached for her bag, pulling out a small, faded photo of the two of them from their early days together. She slid it across the table to Orm.

"This was us," Lingling said softly, her voice trembling. "When everything was simple and good. I wanted you to have it... in case you ever want to remember."

Orm looked down at the photo, her heart twisting. She saw herself, grinning widely, arms wrapped around Lingling. It was a reminder of a love that had once been beautiful, before everything had fallen apart.

Orm stood up, her voice steady. "I think I'd rather remember us as we were, Ling, than try to make sense of what we are now."

Lingling nodded, her face etched with sadness. "I understand."

Orm took one last look at Lingling, the ache in her chest fading into a strange sense of calm. She walked away, feeling like she had finally closed a chapter that had been open far too long.

As she stepped out into the sunlight, she knew that while she couldn't rewrite the past, she had taken the first step toward a future without Lingling's shadow lingering over her.