Maybe This Time

005

The bar was dimly lit, with a low hum of music playing in the background. Lingling sat alone at the counter, her fingers tapping anxiously against her glass.

As she stared at her phone showing a picture where Orm and unfamiliar woman as they're both hugging each other with a smile as if they are a couple in one frame, small tears flowing down to her cheeks.

She'd arrived far too early, hoping a drink or two might ease the ache that had been building inside her ever since her coffee date with Orm. But instead, the alcohol only magnified her regrets, and now, a few glasses in, she felt herself drowning in them.

Her mind spun with memories Orms's smile, her laughter, their late-night conversations, and the warmth she once took for granted. Lingling's heart clenched at the realization of how much she'd pushed Orm away, her reckless choices, her selfishness. And now, it was all too late..

Just then, her friends walked in, scanning the room until they spotted her. As they approached, their smiles faded when they noticed Lingling's tear streaked face. She glanced up, offering them a sad, wobbly smile before quickly wiping her eyes.

"Ling," her friend Gap said softly, touching her arm. "What happened? Are you alright?"

Lingling forced a weak laugh, though her voice was shaky. "Oh, nothing. Just... one of those nights, you know?"

Her other friend, Jaja frowned, sitting down beside her. "One of those nights, or something more? You've been... different lately."

Lingling swallowed hard, looking down at her drink, "It's Orm. I thought I'd moved on, that I could just apologize and let her go. But seeing her again, it brought everything back. I realized... l'm still in love with her."

Both Jaja and Gap exchanged worried glances before Jaja spoke up. "Ling, you've been through so much together. I know you regret a lot of what happened, but have you really accepted why it ended?"

Lingling's eyes filled with tears again. She gripped her glass tightly, her knuckles white. "I know why, Jaja.. I pushed her away, prioritized everything else over her. I was selfish, thinking I could just fix it all later. But now I see that there isn't a later. She's moved on."

Gap placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Then why hold onto the past if it's only hurting you more?"

Lingling shook her head, tears spilling over. "Because I can't bear the thought of her being happy without me. It's like every memory, every promise we made it's all gone and it's my fault. I keep replaying all the times I hurt her, ignored her. I was so foolish, thinking she'd always be there."

As Lingling spoke, a painful memory surfaced..

She and Orm had planned a special dinner to celebrate their anniversary. Orm had spent the entire day preparing, setting the table with candles, flowers, and their favorite dishes. But Lingling had called late that night, saying she'd be working late, her tone dismissive.

The image of Orm's disappointed face, her eyes shadowed with sadness, haunted her even now. That night, they'd fought like never before, and Lingling had left the house, unable to face the hurt she'd caused.

She hadn't realized then that every careless moment was slowly pushing Orm further away.

Back in the present, Lingling's voice trembled as she shared the memory with her friends. "She cried so much that night, and instead of comforting her, I just... walked away. I was too ashamed, too scared of admitting how wrong I was."

Jaja sighed, giving Lingling's hand a gentle squeeze. "Ling, it's clear you loved her, but love isn't enough without effort, without showing up. You can't change the past, but maybe this can be a lesson. If you truly care for Orm, you should be happy that she's, finding peace."

Lingling nodded slowly, her face etched with pain. "I want that for her... I do. But it's just so hard, knowing I lost the best part of my life because of my own mistakes."

Gap patted her back gently. "We're here for you, Ling. Just remember, beating yourself up over it won't change anything. All you can do now is let her go, and maybe, just maybe, one day you'll forgive yourself too."

Lingling let out a shaky breath, wiping away the last of her tears. She knew her friends were right, but the weight of her regret was still heavy.

Raising her glass, she forced a small, sad smile. "To Orm. I hope she finds the happiness she deserves, even if it's not with me."

Her friends clinked their glasses with hers, the mood somber but supportive. And as Lingling took another sip, she silently vowed to learn from the mistakes that had cost her the love of her life, even if it meant letting Orm go for good.