Maybe This Time

018

After the family event, Orm couldn't shake the feeling of calm that had settled over her whenever she'd been near Lingling. Despite their recent history, despite the hurt and misunderstandings, there was something about Lingling's presence that felt as familiar and comforting as home.

Sitting alone in her apartment now, Orm found herself replaying moments from that evening Lingling's laughter, the ease in her voice, and the glimmer of old memories that surfaced with every passing glance.

For the first time in a long time, their conversation had felt... natural. No bitterness, no awkward pauses just the two of them, sharing a quiet understanding.

She'd braced herself for tension, expecting that raw hurt to rise to the surface, but instead, she'd felt warmth. It was as if the years had peeled away.

For a moment.. they were just Orm and Lingling, two people who once knew each other better than anyone else. And now, the memory of that night lingered, stirring up a quiet storm within her.

"What are you doing to me, Ling?" she whispered, running a hand through her hair. It wasn't that long ago that she'd been certain they were over for good, that any chance of reconciliation was a door best left closed.

But as she lay on her couch, staring up at the ceiling, Orm felt the cracks in that certainty widening, her heart drifting back to places she thought she'd locked away.

Her phone buzzed on the table, snapping her out of her reverie. It was a message from Susi: "How was the family thing? You holding up okay?"

Orm stared at the screen, hesitating before replying. How could she explain the mess in her heart, the feelings she thought she'd left behind? "It went... better than I thought," she finally typed. "Ling was there, and it didn't feel weird. It felt almost like before."

Susi's reply came quickly. "That's progress, I guess. Are you sure you're okay?"

Orm took a deep breath, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. "I don't know," she typed. "Seeing her again... it's making me question everything. I thought I moved on, but now I'm not so sure."

"Do you still love her?" Susi's question was simple, but it hit
Orm like a weight, the truth lurking in the back of her mind.

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably." she responded, feeling the vulnerability in admitting it, even to herself.

It was scary to think about, to consider that maybe she'd never stopped loving Lingling, and that perhaps, despite everything, her heart wasn't as resolved as she'd thought.

She tucked her phone away, unable to continue the conversation, and pulled a blanket around her shoulders as she sank deeper into the couch.

Orm's mind drifted back to Lingling, to the way she'd looked at her with an understanding that felt impossible to fake.

For all the pain, for all the fights and misunderstandings, Lingling knew her. Even with all the years between them, there was still a familiarity, a bond that felt unbreakable.

Orm closed her eyes, her thoughts swirling with images of Lingling of moments that felt like home.

She knew she couldn't make a decision tonight, but as the quiet filled her apartment, she resolved to take her time, to listen to what her heart had been trying to tell her all along.

Lingling sat across from her therapist, feeling a calm she hadn't felt in ages.

She glanced down at her hands, fingers intertwined, before meeting her therapist's gentle gaze. "The family event it went better than I expected," she started, her voice steady. "There was no awkwardness, no tension. Orm and I, we actually... connected. It was almost like before."

The therapist nodded, leaning forward slightly. "How did that make you feel?"

Lingling took a deep breath, her mind drifting back to the warmth of their conversation, the quiet understanding that had blossomed between them that night. "It felt good. Really good," she admitted, a faint smile forming. "We just... talked. No anger, no walls up. Just Orm and me."

"And what do you think it means for you and Orm?" her therapist asked, her voice encouraging but careful.

Lingling thought for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "I know we've hurt each other. I know we're both scarred from everything we've been through. But I think... I think there's still something there.. a connection."

She looked down, exhaling slowly. "After all the work I've been doing, the therapy, facing my mistakes I feel like I'm ready. Ready to try, at least. To show her that I'm different now."

Her therapist nodded thoughtfully. "It sounds like this experience has brought you a sense of hope, something positive to hold on to. You've done a lot of work to understand yourself, Lingling. Perhaps this new dynamic with Orm is part of the healing, a chance to build something different."

Lingling's heart swelled with quiet optimism as she nodded. "Maybe. I just... I feel like, for the first time, l'm at peace with myself. The mistakes, the heartbreak they're still there, but they're not defining me anymore. And if Orm is willing, maybe we can try to move forward. Together, or at least as friends."

Her therapist smiled gently. "That sounds like a healthy approach. Let things grow naturally, without any pressure. Just continue being the best version of yourself. Let Orm see the changes, if she chooses to."

Lingling left the session feeling lighter, like a weight had been lifted from her heart. She wasn't sure what the future held, but for the first time in years, she felt ready to embrace it.

All she could hope for was that, in time, Orm might see the changes in her too, and that maybe this time? their paths would cross again on steadier ground.