ʙᴇɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏʏᴀʟ ᴠᴇɪʟ - ᴍᴀɢɴɪꜰɪᴄᴇɴᴛ ᴄᴇɴᴛᴜʀʏ

V

I forced myself to sleep yesterday just to shut down my thoughts and the ideas that were eating my mind. it has been a week since everything happen and i've been in my room since .

One of the servants served me breakfast in my room and i couldn't even eat properly , i wanted them to free me from this torment and set me free already . I had no contact with the outside world when i just wanted to know how Julian was doing .

I paced around my room to kill time until lunch time arrived as i noticed from the clock hanging on my wall .

« Gülcihan » i heard my mother's voice from afar , i quickly walked towards the door and waited for the door to open for me .

« Mom ? » i asked talking closely to the door , i felt the knob of the door moving as i put my hand on it . I stepped aside as my mom opened the door for me .

« You're good to go now » she said calling in some girls behind her who went to open my window using different keys to unlock the locks surrounding the handle .

« How ? did my father agree to this ? » I asked her feeling relief wash over me , she nodded and pointed for me to look outside .

I raised my eyebrow in confusion but still followed her , i looked over the staircase and there was a woman followed by two girls who looked like her apprentices .

« They came to take your measurements » my mother announced as she waved at the woman « What for ? i don't understand how calm you are ? aren't you supposed to be mad at me ? » i asked confused about her behaviour .

« my father knows i'm out ? » i said looking around to see if he's home or not but my mother stopped me « He knows , but only after he heard what i agreed on with Kosem sultan » she clasped her hands together and gave me a wide grin .

« what do you mean by that ? you couldn't possibly - Mom ? » she watched me come to the realisation « What did you do ? » i started to raise my voice in anger , i turned around and went back to my room .

« I had to , did you think your father would've let you out if i didn't do this ? » she followed behind me and i sat on my bed hurrying my head in my hands .

« You're not serious are you ? no no no » i shook my head and got on my feet again « i am going crazy no no » i felt like my whole world was spinning when i came to the realisation that my mother just accepted the offer .

« Why are you acting like it's a bad thing ? » She asked making me more furious « Maybe because you had to wait for my consent first ? you just beat the man i love to death not even a week ago and you excpect me to just run into some man's arms ? » i shouted angrily about how lightly she was taking this matter .

It hurted to know that my opinion was not taken seriously , i learned in this home that i had no say or a voice in anything .

« You will , you have disgraced us already and i will not tolerate you speaking about that christian man ever again » she yelled back but calmed down after. « You will save your future and your father's position »

I felt like my head was going to explode, the lack of understanding and respect my mother had for me was non existent , it felt like communicating with a child .

I stared at her in dissatisfaction and disappointment, i was absolutely stunned by the decision she took on my behalf .

Before we can continue arguing the women i saw earlier stopped in their tracks when they got to my room . « I hope everything is good » the woman asked curiously and tried to take a peek at me.

« Yes yes , she was excited about the wedding that is why. uh , oh we can start now if you want » My mother stepped aside and made me face the women who walked closer to me , they quickly grabbed what they needed and waited for me to stand up .

I looked at them angrily and stomped my feet before getting up with a sigh « Raise your arms » the three women started taking my measurements while i stood there like a doll , a doll had more freedom and opinion than i had at the very least .

After they finished their work my mother sent them away leaving us both inside my room , she stood by the door and watched my every step.

« You're going to marry the great sultan murad , whoever saw your face now would think you're going to marry a commoner » she made fun of me trying to ease the situation but i hated her at that moment , i couldn't stand hearing her voice .

« Then marry him yourself , i don't know what did you think when you said yes aren't you tired of controlling everyone's life ? » i said emptying my anger « the fact that you know i can't back down from this because of my father is even worse , you left me no choice »

i knew that my father wouldn't let me say no , in his mind he thought i consciously wanted this and that i couldn't say no last minute because obviously he served the sultan and it would create tensions between them .

« Leave me be » i said standing up as i put my hand on the door knob , my mother sighed in annoyance and turned around to leave .

I have missed julian so much and the fact that i was getting married to someone other than him suffocated me , it wasn't someone i knew which made it even worse .

I got into the shower and allowed myself to relax a bit and freshen up my mind or else if i stayed there with my mother i would've gone mad .

I didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow but still , i had prepared myself mentally for it . after all she loved to surprise me with crazy and unexcpected stuff .