Poison of love

Mason

It's wrong to read someone else's messages on their phone. It's a clear violation of privacy, and I realize that. Yet, when that name appears on the notification, an uncontrollable curiosity overwhelms me, and I can't stop myself.
I'm lying on the bed, waiting for Jess to come out of the bathroom when her phone vibrates next to me. Instinctively, I lean over and take a quick glance at the notification. A message from Josh. Before I even realize it, I take the phone in my hands and read it.
"I can't stop thinking about you."
These words, so simple, pierce me like a blade, igniting a furious unease within me. It's just a message, yet it bothers me so much that I can't stop: I open the entire chat, driven by the need to know more.
What I read hurts me. I clench my fist without realizing it and take a deep breath, trying in vain to calm myself. Just then, Jess walks back in, finding me holding her phone.
"What's going on?" she asks, her voice worried as she stands still in the doorway.
"You got a message from Josh," I reply coldly, staring at her intensely, the phone still open on the chat.
"I can explain," she murmurs, her voice hesitant and cracked.
"From the messages I read, I think there's nothing left to explain," I retort, throwing the phone on the bed angrily as I stand up to head toward the door. But before I can leave, she grabs my arm.
"Wait. Why are you acting like this?"
I pull away from her grip and turn around, glaring at her. The air between us has become heavy, dense with a silence charged with tension. I can't contain the whirlwind of emotions overwhelming me right now.
"How long has this been going on?" I explode, not even realizing how loud my voice is.
"I was about to tell you, but..."
"But what?" I interrupt, frustration rising. "Did you want to keep it from me?"
"No, of course not," she replies, visibly shaken.
"How long have you known?" I ask, and she hesitates for a moment before answering.
"Since the Christmas parties..."
"Oh, and I find out in the worst way possible," I reply, running a hand through my hair to push the lock that falls over my eyes away. I'm furious, but this anger is different from any I've ever felt. It's not simple jealousy. It's a visceral torment, a tight knot in my stomach that I can't untie.
I sit on the bed, trying to calm myself with deep breaths, but every attempt feels futile. "Charlie will take you back to the dorm. He's waiting for you downstairs," I tell her, my voice harsh and distant.
"What? Why?" she asks, confused and trembling.
"I need to be alone," I reply, cutting her off.
Those are the last words I say to her before Jess, with a broken look, leaves the room to meet Charlie. I feel my heart as if it has stopped, unable to beat, suffocated by anger and pain. Discovering everything is devastating, a low blow that leaves me breathless. I can't think clearly; I'm too shaken to keep her close to me, too angry to trust what I might say or do. I don't want to show her that side of me, a side I don't even know I possess.
I need to vent my anger, to smother it somehow, and the only way out that comes to mind is alcohol. I call Will and we arrange to meet at our usual pub. I take a taxi and head there without thinking too much.
When I arrive, Will is already on the usual couch, surrounded by friends and girls, all loud and cheerful.
"Hey, bro!" he shouts, visibly drunk, raising his glass in greeting.
"Finally, you show up! It's been a while since you've disappeared."
"I need a drink," is my only reply.
Alcohol is my escape, my temporary solution to every problem. I don't want to think; I don't want to remember. I want to erase from my mind the chat with Josh, his words, the image of Jess terrified as if she had seen a ghost. She hurt me; she betrayed me, maybe not with actions, but with lies. She kept me in the dark about something important, and I can't forgive that.
Maybe I'm overreacting; maybe it's my pride talking, but I can't help feeling betrayed, and this pain only fuels my anger.
I'm sitting in a secluded corner, away from everything and everyone, sipping my beer while the deafening music booms in my ears. I feel the world blur, my vision starts to double, and my mind drifts elsewhere, far from this chaotic crowd. In front of me, girls and boys move to the rhythm of the music, but their movements are confusing, almost unreal, like a distorted film I can't follow.
I down the last sip, signaling the bartender to bring me another beer when a hand grabs my arm. I look up and, to my enormous surprise, I see my father.
What the hell is he doing here? And who told him I was in this place? The thought immediately brings me to Charlie, but I remember I didn't tell him anything about where I was going.
"What the hell are you doing?" my father shouts, trying to overpower the deafening music.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I burst out, filled with rage as I brusquely pull away from his grip. He's the last person I want to see right now.
"You weren't answering your phone, so I called Will," he says with a cold, detached look.
I scoff, irritated. "Damn Will!" I mutter under my breath, disappointed. Even he, my best friend, stabs me in the back. It seems everything is falling apart, a spiral I can't escape.
"Why aren't you answering?" my father presses.
"Because I don't want to talk to you. Simple," I snap, growing more exasperated.
"Get a grip. Be at the office tomorrow; it's not a suggestion, it's an order," he states coldly, as only he knows how.
I don't respond. Inside me, the idea of obeying that man feels unbearable. No one can force me to do something I don't want, least of all my father. He had all the opportunities to act like a parent when it was time, but now he can't expect to have control over me. My anger grows, thicker and thicker, fueled by the fight with Jess, my father's presence, and Will's betrayal. I feel surrounded, with no way out. The only person I can trust, I realize bitterly, is myself.