Chapter 16

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When I saw Benedict I was just going to come out and ask him what happened on Friday night. Did I say something? Was it me? Or was it him? Did he not want me like that? Was there something wrong with me?

I wasn't sure what I wanted to ask first. I wasn't sure what I should ask. I'd never experienced any of this before. It was all to new and weird and even a little bit scary.

But I still wanted to know. Didn't I? It was worse then over thinking. Maybe there was a simple reason for Friday night. Like maybe the stuff with my mum freaked him out and he went running for the hills. Because that is quite literally what happened. He ran away from me and hasn't tried to contact me since. That was weird right? If you liked someone you wouldn't just ghost them like that? I thought differently of him after he helped me with my mum, no questions asked. But maybe he was still just the same Benedict. Maybe he was only being nice to me because he'd been drinking and felt sorry for me? That was the only logical reason I could think of for why he tried to kiss me at James' party and then actually kiss me at home. He just pitied me.

I was determined to ask him and find out why he left so abruptly, but as soon as I saw him standing in the hallway at school on Monday morning, I froze up.

Suddenly everything about him made me nervous and not just because I was scared of him picking on me. Unable to move, I stood in the doorway, forcing people to squeeze passed me as I watched him. I hadn't even noticed he was stood with Sarah until she shouted at me, making Benedict turn to look at me.

'Hey, Char. Over here.' She called.

He wore an expression on his face I'd never seen him wear before.

'Are you coming?' Sarah called again.

I force myself to look away from him, scared the face was because he regretted what happened between us. I took a deep breath before I forced my feet to move, heading over in their direction, focusing on Sarah and only Sarah.

'Hi Char, you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost.' Sarah tells me as soon as I reach the three of them.

'Oh... er no. I'm fine.' I stutter out, glancing at Benedict for just a second.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.' I force a smile on, trying to get her to drop it.

But just as she was about to open her mouth to question me even further a whiny voice echoed down the hall behind us, pulling my attention away from Sarah.

'Bennie. Where were you? I missed you Friday!' A girl called down the hallway, not caring who heard.

I didn't know who she was, but I recognised her as the girl I'd seen him go upstairs with at one of the James' parties.

At the sight of her just talking to Benedict my blood began to boil.

'Oh, Hi Megan.' Benedict said to her, catching my eye before looking back at her.

'I waited for you. I thought we were supposed to meet up?' She questions him in a sickly sweet voice.

He was supposed to see her? He had arranged to meet her?

'I... left early.' Was all he says to her as she stands too close to him for my liking.

'I was hoping we could have had some more fun, you know... one on one.' She says, running her hand up and down his arm, touching him in a suggestive way.

He just stood there and let her touch him. Why wasn't he pushing her away?

'Ha, yeah...' he chuckles.

Why was he laughing at what she was saying. Why wasn't he telling her to go away because he wasn't interested?

'Maybe we could catch up after school sometime?' She winks, moving her hand to his chest.

I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to scream at her. I didn't understand what was going on and neither did Sarah by the way she kept looking at me like I was a bomb waiting to go off.

'Yeah, maybe.' He smiles.

'Well, I'll see you later then?' She says before she leans into him standing on her tip toes as she places a kiss on his lips.

I felt as if all my insides had just been ripped out and stamped on. I couldn't breathe as I watched him kiss another girl right in front of me. After everything that happened on Friday I thought... I don't know what I thought. All I knew was I couldn't be here. I needed to leave.

'Char?' Sarah said to me, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

With tears in my eyes I ran. I literally ran down the hall and out of the school. In all my 18 years I'd only ever felt pain like this once before. I was heartbroken. When the school was behind me and I knew no one was looking at me I let the tears flow freely. I let them flow, feeling every emotion until I got home. 

I forced myself to compose myself before walking in the front door. When I left school I didn't think about my mum being at home, but now I was here I knew I couldn't go in there like this.

'Honey? What are you doing home so early?' My mum calls from her usual spot.

'I... I felt sick.' I lie.

'Oh no, do you want some soup or something?'

'No... I... I just want to go to bed.'

'Okay pickle. Just give me a shout if you change your mind.'

'Than... thanks mum.' I force out before the tears start to fall again. But before my mum can tell something is wrong I ran up the stairs and climbed into bed, feeling sorry for myself and feeling like a complete fool.

***

'Char, honey. There's a boy at the door for you.' My mum tapped on the door.

I had no idea what time it was until I forced my eyes open to look at my phone. 4:00PM. My eyes were so sore for hours of crying before I passed out from exhaustion, sleeping the last few hours away.

'Char?' She calls through the door.

'I don't want to see anyone mum.' I call back.

'Come on sweetie, he's a cutie. I'm sure he's just checking on you?'

I knew she wasn't going to drop it until I went downstairs. My mother is, if nothing else, very persistent. So if I give her what she wants, hopefully she'll just leave me alone.

It's not a surprise to me when I see Benedict waiting by the door, running his hand through his hair, looking too good. It was aggravating to see him looking like that when I knew I must of looked like shit.

'What do you want?' I hiss.

'You left school and we still have a history project to finish?'

'You're here to do a history project?'

'Yeah...'

'No other reason?' I ask, trying to worm an apology or something from him. Or an explanation. An explanation would be pretty fucking good.

'Er... no?'

'You came here just to do a history project and there is no other reason you're here?' I question him just to clarify.

'Yes...?'

'Fuck off Benedict.' I tell him before slamming the door in his face. 

That was quite satisfying...

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