Mask off - Mick Schumacher

Chapter 19: Dead-end track

"Could you follow me, miss?"

Sabine looked up at the doctor with fear in her eyes. She could feel her heart beating so fast that it almost hurt. All sorts of scenarios were racing through her mind as she got up and followed the doctor.

The doctor led her to Cristian's room, but the door was shut. "His conditions have gotten worse and there was nothing we could do, miss. You may see him once more and say your goodbyes."

As soon as the doctor uttered those words, Sabine felt like everything around her had faded to black. No. This couldn't be happening. How could this be happening? Why? Why him? No. This couldn't be the end. It had to be some terrible joke, a prank, a nightmare or something. It couldn't be real. Without saying a word, she slowly pushed the door open and walked inside.

If when she had seen him earlier, he looked like a lifeless man, now he looked even worse. If that was possible. They had removed his mask and all the IVs. He was really gone. The tears started flowing immediately. She wanted to scream, or shake him, or just wake him up to make him look at her one last time. She walked up to him, her steps slow and shaky. She reached out and gently touched his cheek, her hand trembling against his cold skin.

The room suddenly got cold, even if the windows were closed. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she touched him. She sniffled and looked down at him, thinking about how many times he had protected her, made her feel safe in his arms. And now he was gone. And she couldn't do anything about it.

She felt a source of warmth on her shoulder and turned around. But she wasn't met with her mom's eyes as she thought. She was met with nothing. There was no one. Yet she felt him, his presence, his warmth. It wasn't real, it couldn't be. Had she gone mad? Or was her brain just desperately searching for a moment of comfort and was creating Cristian's presence out of thin air?

"I love you. Forever." She whispered, pressing a kiss to his hand before walking out of the room.

As soon as she stepped outside, the feeling of his presence faded. It almost felt like a sort of illusion, a delusion that had made its way into her mind. It was probably just her mind trying to make a terrible situation bearable, that was all.

She went to the doctor's office and sat down. "Is there anything of his that I need to have? Like phone, wallet and all that...?"

Dr. Dumont looked at her with a sympathetic expression on her face.

"Right... The personal items. I believe his belongings are kept at the front desk."

"Alright, thank you." She nodded and walked out, going to the front desk.

The nurse at the desk was the same one Sabine had seen that morning. She looked up as Sabine approached, the expression on her face turning sad as she recognized her. She knew what had happened.

"How can I help you, miss?"

"I need to pick up my boyfriend's belongings." She said quietly.

"Right. Just a moment, please."

The nurse rummaged through the desk for a few moments before pulling out a clear ziploc bag. From the size, Sabine could tell that it only held his phone, wallet and keys.

"Thank you." Sabine said and went back to the waiting room where her parents were. She sat in one of the chairs as she went through Cristian's belongings whilst her parents planned the funeral.

All of Cristian's belongings were in that tiny little bag. Such insignificant objects, and yet they were all she had left of him. She couldn't focus on her parents' conversation. They were discussing logistics: the funeral, the obituary... It was like they were discussing a stranger, not her Cristian.

She picked up his phone and unlocked it. They had never had trust problems so he had always let her use his phone if needed. There were the notifications of her missed calls and a few unread messages. There were also some old photos of him with his friends, several selfies and... pictures of her. There were so many pictures of her. He had made a folder just for her, and they were all from different times and places. There were silly photos of her sticking her tongue out at the camera from a sleepover with friends, or of her laughing so hard that she had to clutch her stomach. There were photos of her in a pretty dress as she got ready for an event, and even some sneaky candids that she hadn't realised he'd taken. Seeing them made her heart ache.

She set his phone down and looked at his keys. He still had the keychain she had gifted him for their first month together. It wasn't much, it was just a small heart with the words 'drive safe' engraved on it. She picked it up, turning it over in her palm. She could clearly remember the day she'd given it to him. The wide, radiant smile on his face when she gave it to him, the way he'd called her 'amore mio' as he kissed her forehead... The familiar sense of sadness returned, and the tears started falling again.

She forced herself to stop crying and went through his wallet, finding nothing important apart from a few Polaroids of them and some notes she had written to him. The notes made her smile sadly. They were just little scribbles, silly things she'd written him. Little I love you's, cute jokes, and even a few cheesy love notes. He had kept them in one of the compartments in his wallet, where they wouldn't get damaged. She was about to put it back in the bag when she noticed another note. It wasn't her handwriting though.

It was an Italian song they always listened to together, she knew how much he liked it.

"Ti aspetterei pure di notte a un binario morto
Durante la tempesta mi trovi al porto che ti aspetto
Lo sai che non me lo scordo, te lo prometto
Metto da parte tutto se so che vieni
Spariremo dentro questi quartieri
Come fanno le scie degli aerei
Ciao baby"

(I'd wait for you at night on a dead-end track
During the storm I'm at the port waiting for you
You know I won't forget, I promise
I'll set everything aside if I know you're coming
We will disappear inside these neighbourhoods
Like the aircraft tracks
Goodbye baby)