Hetalia x Reader One-Shots

America-- Take a Hike

You dipped your bare feet into the river, letting the water and the occasional minnow roll all around them. You knelt down, and splashed around in the water, creating ripples. You grinned to yourself. It was strangely entertaining, yet scaring the minnows away. You felt bad, but you couldn't have everything, right?

You then heard the chitter chatter of a squirrel, and the shrieking of one of the guys you knew well. Alfred F. Jones, dressed in his sloppy tee shirt and jeans, was just turning the corner. His glasses were very lopsided and there were a couple of squirrels running next to his feet. Yet another squirrel was perched in his shirt pocket. Its eyes were closed, and it looked like it was enjoying the breeze. He then skidded to a stop when he saw you by the water. The squirrels took this as an opportunity to climb on top of him. "(Y/n)!" he shouted.

You were too busy watching the squirrels get their friend out of his pocket to notice his face. "Hey, Al," you replied as you got up. 'What's with all those things on your shirt?" You knew what squirrels were very well. You just wanted to know what the heck he was doing.

"Don't you understand?" he asked.

"Understand what?" you answered.

Alfred struck a pose. "I am the squirrel king! King of the— AACK!" 

At that point, the squirrels had rescued their friend, but one of them had stopped to give him a bite on his exposed ankles. He looked down on it, and shrugged. The wild squirrels where you were didn't bite very hard, to both of your luck. He shrugged it off. "Nothing a nice milkshake can't fix," he remarked.

"Probably the smartest thing I've ever heard from you," you smirked. 

Alfred poked you in the stomach. "And I wasn't the one who produced them," he teased back.

"Probably not," he retorted.

You two trekked up the stream together, talking about both of your various endeavours. He was pretty impressed by your eagle story, but apparently the farthest Alfred got from his couch this week was the Burger King. "Still better than McDonald's," you replied. 

Alfred just groaned, and you chuckled to yourself a bit. "It's been a week," he sighed. 

Suddenly,  Alfred stepped on something with a loud CRUNCH! He jumped back, and yountoo a closer look. "It seems like a bit of metal," you concluded. Alfred stood up from the rock he was huddled up on. "Here, touch it." You had to wrestle with him for a bit, but finally you got his finger to touch the stone cold metal. As a surprise, he playfully took your hand and put it on the bit of metal. "Are you feeling it?" he grinned. 

You smiled to yourself, and shook your head. "There's only one thing left," you remarked.

"Go to Chili's with a pumpkin costume and a pink fedora?" he asked.

"After we get this thing out. Who knows, maybe there's some hot pink cake in there that nobody finished," you nodded.

-time skip brought to you by the squirrels-

You and Alfred had somehow managed to heave the huge boulder off of the large cold metal object you had found earlier. He pulled you back to look at it. "What is that?" he wondered.

"Oh, I think it's a UFO, of course!" you teased. 

Alfred crashed through the trees, with various screamings of "OH! OH MY GOSH IT'S FINALLY HERE!" and the like. You hurried after him, brambles and nettles ruling at your face, but you never stopped trying to find Alfred. He was huddled up by the stream you were at earlier today. "Hey Alfred?" you asked, and you pojwd him on the neck. 

"Yeah?" he answered, staring at you.

"I lied. Its an old car."

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you were right the first time reader chan