Double-edged Sword: a poetry collection

6teen

A fact is that I celebrated my sixteenth birthday while in a mental illness treatment center
Kaleidoscopic view of my life thus far, it could've been better
Unforgettable words my parents had said: "don't leave us like your sister"

More recollections return to my head in the form of fractions
Ever so delicate, my voice doesn't match my actions
Not when my thoughts are oh-so filled with attraction
Constant reminders of being a disappointment from and to myself
I believe that
Nobody is here to end up fruitless
Though it's harder than teaching hummingbirds to sing in a choir
An arduous feat, seeing as they'd rather slurp nectar from flowers
In the case of an emergency
Mustn't we all resort to normalcy?
Understandable words my parents had said: "stay with us unlike she"

Kalimbas hold no meaning to me
And I have a memory of examining one with someone I had attraction towards, it was fleeting
My heart feels nothing at the thought of it
Unless I've lied, that crush meant nothing

"Mine" is an odd way to put this
Especially since it was never in my possession
"Nine" is a cruel thing to wish
'Cause I'm all over the place with these obsessions
If you were to say
"Not a chance" while staring daggers into my soul
That would only further drive me loco
And only further motivate me to enchant
I'd enchant them all, from the first autumn to the last fall
Nobody except you would resist
You
Are the exception to my power

Just never know what to do
And always have to know what not to do
Dance around life like it's just another good day
Imagine through life like it's just another bad day

Be the good girl
And not the bad enby
Get the good boy
And not the bad envy
Impossible, I try to explain
"Must I pretend for the entireity of my days?"
As I seethe and sob and wail
"No way"
Anyone with sympathy would say

Gods and goddesses
I believe in, a few
Might not exist
And we've rounded back to our first topic
Nope
Ain't gonna continue