Trigger warning: homophobia
"H-Ha? A-Anong 3 months???"
"It's been three months since we last saw each other." Mahinahon niyang sagot sa tanong ko. Parang may nag-iba talaga kay B... Was I overthinking?
"S-Sigurado ka ba? Baka naman pinaprank mo lang ako ah. You know I'm not fond of that crap."
"Cy... Nagka-amnesia ka ba? It's been 3 months mula nung nagpaalam ako sayong mawawala ako nang matagal. Sinamahan mo pa nga akong mag-request ng leave of absence, right?" This time I finally realized what changed — his eyes. They were different. Looking at them now, they seemed lifeless.
T*ngina ano na naman 'to? I also had no idea what he's talking about. But I decided to play along. I needed to know what's going on.
"R-Right. Sorry, B... Siguro nga na-miss lang kita nang sobra. That's why my mind got slightly messed up... Kumusta ka na?"
"Good. Never been better..." He uttered those, but his eyes and bitter smile were telling me otherwise. Anong problema, B? Hindi mo ba pwedeng sabihin sakin?
"Really? How come? Dahil ba lumayo ka sakin?"
"No, no. I didn't mean that..." Ngumiti siya na may kasamang marahang pag-iling. "It's just that... I made it, Cy. I'm no longer gay — I'm not 'Blaine Bakling' or 'Baklang Blaine' anymore. Isn't that great?"
Hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig. Sandali akong natigilan. "W-What happened? You told me that wasn't possible..."
"That's what I thought... Until Dad brought me to a conversion camp. There, I'd undergone therapy... It took some time but after rigorous sessions, something in me changed... At last! I became straight — I should've gone sooner, Cy..." Masaya niyang kwento sa kung anong nangyari.
Ngunit sa aking mga mata, walang bahid ng kaligayahan akong naramdaman mula sa kanya... Sa mga sandaling iyon, napagtanto kong wala na ang kilala kong B. He's gone — him and his bright personality who's all smiles and full of life. Wala na ang ngiti niyang siguradong mahahawa ka kapag nasilayan mo ito. Tama ang taong kaharap ko ngayon. Meron ngang nagbago sa kanya...
Because the best friend I once knew, was now empty. He's totally hollow. He was like a moving body without life and soul. A hollow human being... And it f*cking hurts me seeing him this way... What have they done to him? Hindi pa ba sapat 'yung mga ginawa nila sa kanya dati?
"B... Maybe you're just overwhelmed and confused. Why not take things slow?" Minsan pa nga'y naging desperado ako at in denial. Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat 'di ba? Para sakin? Para kay B?
"Cy... You're the one who's overwhelmed... Everything's clear as day to me." He looked me straight in the eye. That sent me chills to my spine. He's really gone... T*ngina!
"H-Hindi maari... This isn't happening..." Once again, I was bawling my eyes out... This couldn't be real... Could someone tell me this wasn't real?
"Look Cy... I'm really sorry it had to come this way. But I actually met you today para magpaalam..."
"W-What? B-Bakit? May nagawa ba kong kasalanan? Please naman B. H'wag mong gawin sakin 'to." Lumuhod ako sa harapan niya at nagsusumamong humawak sa kanyang mga kamay.
"Please don't do this, Cy. You're better than this... And it's not your fault. My feelings for you are confusing me. So, I need to stay away — to get rid of distractions. That's part of my therapy..." Mahinahon niyang paliwanag. But unlike before, it lacked empathy and compassion.
"So ganun na lang 'yon? Pa'no naman ako B? Wala bang halaga sa'yo ang pinagsamahan natin?" Call me desperate, I don't care. Because that's the truth. I can't lose him. Not again.
BINABASA MO ANG
for him - completed✓
Cerita Pendeka short BL story Cyril and Blaine. College Bestfriends, bound by secrets and unspoken feelings. As Cyril supports Blaine through the hardships of being gay in a religious family, he must also navigate his own hidden feelings. Will their friendship b...
