illicit affairs - jj maybank

f o u r

over the next week, me and rafe didn't speek much until he came up to me to question me about sarah's new interest.

"why don't you just go ask her for the details rather then questioning me?" i asked him.

"because your more likely to tell me the details, she's my sister she won't tell me shit."

"why are you that bothered anyways?"

"because i heard he's a pogue," his face full of disgust.

"so what if he is? why does it affect you so much?"

"because she's my sister and i will not be associated with people who hang around with pogues like you," he snarled at me.

"when the fuck have i been hanging around with pogues, and i don't see why you have a problem with it if i was anyways."

"oh what about that pogue you were cuddling up to on the beach?"

"are you seriously jealous rafe?" i asked him laughing slightly, "it was literally a joke between me and poppy to see who we could piss off."

"well it sure did piss me off."

"rafe!" my voice was getting louder now, "you can't keep going round thinking you can control me. you have no rights to tell me what to do or have opinions on what i do. i am not your girlfriend, and i'm not even your sister so stop treating me like i'm one of them and you can tell me what to do!"

"tes," his voice was quiet, "i want you to be my girlfriend. i want to be the only boy who you think of every day."

"what?"

"tes, i want you to be mine."

i stood there in shock. why was he just bringing this up now? why had he only just sprung this on me now? what was going on?

"what?" i asked again.

"tes, come on. you know how i feel. we're always flirting together, i know last year i was a dick and you got so mad and i'm sorry about that but i was only a dick because i knew i couldn't have you."

"i can't rafe," i told him quietly.

"why?" he gripped my wrist tightly and pulled me closer.

i lifted up my hand to show him in his face, "this is why rafe."

"what do you mean?" he still gripped my wrist tight.

"let go."

"tes, why are you being like this?" he grabbed my wrist tighter.

"to prove a point. i wouldn't feel safe. you hurt me rafe, and we're not even together. your controlling when we're not even together. i'm talking about all this and you keep holding my wrist tighter and tighter and tighter."

he slowly let go of my hand and dropped it. he stared down at his own hands realising what he was capable of.

"i don't want to get hurt by the man who is supposed to love me rafe."

"i wont hurt you tes. i promise."

"don't."

"don't what?"

"don't make promises that you can't keep."

"i can keep it."

"no, you can't."

i stared into his eyes as hurt and anger took over them. a vein in his neck was pumping blood viciously. his hands started to shake with anger, so i took a step backwards.

"rafe?"

"fuck!" he shouted before punching the wall.

i jumped and moved backwards more. he missed my head by inches. i stood there in shock.