Bee And Foxglove

Foxglove Smiles In The Warmest Way

It's not easy for two people to ride a horse together without hugging, but the ride home still felt intimate to Bee and Foxglove.

That first day on the road, they didn't talk much.

The second day, at an inn where they'd stopped for lunch, Foxglove reached out to hold Bee's hand. She looked Bee in the eyes. "I know separation is a lot harder for you than it is for me, Bee. I wish it could have been different."

"I just... don't understand," said Bee.

"It was hard for me to find words even for myself, at the beginning," said Foxglove. "But I think for a long time, I had to suppress my feelings of fear just to be around you, Bee.

"I know you didn't want to hear me going on about it. You weren't going to change what you did, and all I'd do would be to take away your conviction and enthusiasm.

"You can't do things by half measures, Bee. Either I convince you to stop doing magic entirely, or you do your shows with your heart fully in it, but what use is it if you... like, do your shows halfway?"

"I did lose my conviction and enthusiasm for a while," said Bee dully.

"I'm really sorry," said Foxglove, squeezing Bee's hand. "I'm so sorry."

"It's like we live in different worlds, Foxy. It's like you don't even know what abandonment feels like."

Foxglove gazed at Bee compassionately.

Bee and Foxglove's food arrived. They ate in silence for a while.

"There's one more thing," said Foxglove. "Being around you, it was just... hard to trust myself in my feelings."

"What does that mean?" asked Bee.

"I have my beliefs and you have yours. And that's fine. But because I don't have proof, sometimes I feel like I'm going mad for believing something so strongly. And when I feel like that, hearing your beliefs can feel like a threat to my sense of sanity. Does that make sense?"

"I guess, yeah."

"I'm a lot calmer now," said Foxglove. "I still want you to stop using magic, at least until we understand magic better. But I know you need more proof than just my feelings on the topic. At this point, it doesn't feel like a threat to my sense of sanity if you ask for proof. Now it's... just how things are."

Bee nodded, digesting. "So... what? We just go back to normal? I do my shows, and you try and stop me from dying?"

Foxglove giggled a bit. "I'm going to do my research, Bee. I'm going to try to keep you safe. Besides, in the first Age of Heroes people seemed to use magic without a problem, right? Maybe I just need to work out how Concordatio really works. Or something else. Some forgotten knowledge. I'm going to find it, Bee."

"I stopped practising Concordatio," said Bee.

Foxglove nodded. This wasn't a surprise for her.

"I just... I can't do something I don't believe in!" said Bee. "It just feels like going through the motions."

Foxglove nodded. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah, Bee, I do. I know it's no fun to do something just to please someone else. And who knows? Maybe you've done enough of it. Or maybe you've been doing it wrong, because those stupid books all refuse to tell us any details. I'll keep searching."

Bee's expression softened. So did Foxglove's.

"I'm sorry," said Bee.

"What for?" asked Foxglove.

"I'm just... sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Bee. For all of this."

Bee smiled. "I'm glad we're back together again, Foxy."

Foxglove's smile was like an ember in snow. "Me too, Teddybee."