The Price of Freedom

Chapter Nine

"Come on, Rose. This is ridiculous," Jack says through chattering teeth, his body shaking so hard he can barely get the words out. "You're freezing, I'm freezing. We're not gonna hit an iceberg. Please, just... let's go inside."

"No." My voice is firm, even though I can feel the cold biting through my coat, sinking deep into my bones. My body is shivering too, but I can't move. Not yet. Not when something is going to go wrong. Jack runs his hands through his hair in frustration, letting out a ragged breath that hangs in the frigid air between us. "Rose, please. You've made your point. I don't want you to get sick."

"I'm not going back inside." My eyes are fixed on the horizon, on the dark water stretching out before us like a void. It's too calm, too quiet. The vision still lingers in the back of my mind, growing sharper, more urgent with every passing second.

He crouches down in front of me, his expression softening, but I can see the worry etched into his face. "Rose, I know you're scared. But we're safe here, I promise. We can talk to the captain again if it'll help, but sitting out here all night isn't going to change anything." He reaches out, gently taking my freezing hands in his, but I pull them away.

"You don't understand. I know it's going to happen. I feel it. I see it." My voice trembles, a mix of fear and frustration, but I can't stop now.

"Rose. Come inside. Please. You'll get sick."

"I already am! You all think I am sick; sick in the head... or... or emaciated or.... God knows what! Maybe I am! Maybe this is all just a sick joke to you but it's real for me. If you can't cope with it then... I'll—" I cast my eyes to the railing and swallow. I had only tried to jump a few days ago but it seems all too tempting again. Jumping would make life so much simpler; no one would have to suffer anymore. I wouldn't have to listen to the voices, or the people who tell me I'm not normal or how I act isn't normal.

"You're not jumping. I can't let you. You know I can't let you." He begs, taking my hands in his and breathing into them. It's a nice semblance of warmth but it's short lived. I shouldn't feel how I feel about him. I shouldn't love him like I do.

"Please just... let me go Jack. I can't live on... not like this."

"Not like what? Please talk to me."

"Well... knowing that... this is all temporary... that I am really ill, that there's a high chance I won't get better, that... you'll never love or need me the way I love you and need you."

Jack's face falls as he searches my eyes, his own filled with a kind of panic I've never seen before. His hands tighten around mine, almost like he's trying to tether me to him, to this moment.

"Rose, you're wrong. You're so wrong," he whispers, his voice breaking. "I—I don't know what kind of future we have. No one does. But don't say that... don't think for a second that I don't need you."

I shake my head, but he pulls me closer, his eyes fierce and pleading. "Listen to me. You've changed my life. I mean that, Rose. Everything about who I am now, what I want... it's because of you. Don't tell me I don't need you. I don't even know who I am without you anymore." He pauses, and I can see the battle raging in him. "Maybe I don't know how I feel," he says softly, his hand shakily reaching up to cup my cheek. "But I know I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you, Rose. Not now. Not ever."

"Please, Jack."

"No. I won't let go. I'll never let go. Please... come back inside."

I exhale and look out to the forecastle deck, squinting into the distance before turning back to him. "Alright... fine... I'll come inside, but I have an ultimatum."

"Fine. What?"

"We sit just inside... not far from the lifeboats. I can't die, Jack. Not when I've just started living." For a moment, I think he'll argue—his jaw clenches, his hands tightening around mine—but then he lets out a sigh and nods, slowly standing up beside me. "Alright, if it'll help, come on then."

He keeps his arm wrapped around me as we step back into the corridor, the warmth inside a stark contrast to the bitter cold we've left outside. We walk slowly, our footsteps echoing through the dim, quiet space as he guides me to a bench just inside, tucked in the shadows yet close enough to the door leading back to the deck. Jack settles beside me on the bench, his hand still wrapped around mine as if it could somehow ease the weight pressing down on my chest. I lean into him, letting the warmth of his shoulder seep through, but the chill in my bones won't leave.

"We're safe here, Rose," he says softly, though his eyes keep scanning the quiet corridor, lingering on the door that leads back outside. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." I nod, trying to steady my breathing, letting myself sink into the comfort of his presence. For a moment, the fear eases, and I almost believe him.

And then, faint but clear, a bell rings somewhere above us—a sound that sends a prickling shiver up my spine. Another ring, and then another, echoing like a heartbeat, relentless and growing louder with each chime. I sit up, my eyes wide, as I make the decision to go back to the deck.

Jack follows me and then stiffens beside me, his grip on my hand tightening as the bells chime thrice, their urgency filling the silence around us. His face pales, eyes darting toward the sea in front of us, but he doesn't move, and neither do I. We stand, caught in that strange, heavy silence, waiting for whatever is coming.

"Shit, Rose, I think you were right."

We watch on ahead as we draw closer and closer to the black mass no one believed was more than a thought in a crazy woman's head, but now we're thundering towards it, and we're not stopping.

"Jack... I'm scared."

"Shh... come here. Don't look." He turns me around, and I bury my head into his chest, listening to our hearts thudding in unison. "Don't look, Rose."

Thirty or so seconds later, the ship shudders and scrapes,and I try to move my head up to look, but Jack holds my head to his chest, and a hand over my ear. My breath grows shallow as I feel the ship beneath us tremor and shudder, being cut along the side. I knew this was going to happen; my premonition was correct and nobody seemed to care.

I frown into Jack's chest as the scraping sound fades, and a heavy, unnatural silence settles around us. I finally pull away, watching the iceberg glide past in the distance, looming like a dark shadow against the water.

Jack stares down at me, his face etched with disbelief and something else—a fear neither of us can quite put into words.

"Fuck," he curses, smoothing down my hair, and looking into my eyes.

"Believe me now?" I murmur, wrenching myself away from him to stand beside lifeboat seven, crossing my arms against the cold and looking out into the darkness, the dread settling even deeper into my chest. Jack stares at me with wide eyed horror, his lips trembling as he watches my eyes fill with tears. I was right... I was right all along. God damnit, of all the times to prove everyone wrong... why now?