In A Faith Forgotten Land

1

Present time

It wasn't supposed to mean anything. It was supposed to be a one time thing, it was never meant to turn into what it did. Addison came to Seattle with a plan, a plan that didn't include falling in love with the intern her husband had been sleeping with. She stood at the nurse's station looking above her glasses as Meredith walked down the hall, her soft giggles filling the silence that had fallen over the floor. Their eyes met and moments later they were in an on call room, the blonde pinned against the door as the redhead hungrily kissed her neck. Meredith's head hit the door with a thud, her eyes fluttering shut with a soft moan as Addison slipped a hand in her scrub pants and found her clit.

"When are you going to choose me?" Meredith whispered as she snuggled closer to Addison in the bed after they each had multiple orgasms. "I don't know how much longer I can do this if you're not willing to choose me."

"Mer, you know that I love you." Addison sighed. "It's just complicated."

"You keep saying that, but it's really not." Meredith turned to look at Addison. "You're not happy in your marriage so tell your husband that you want a divorce." Meredith shrugged. "It's not rocket science, people get divorced every day."

"I need time." Addison murmured into Meredith's hair, kissing the blonde's temple. "Can you give me time?"

"It's been three months." Meredith reminded her. "We've been sneaking around for three months and every time I tell you that I'm nearing my breaking point, you ask for more time. I don't know how much time I have left to give." She confessed quietly. "I love you Addie, but I don't know how much longer I can do this." She stood up and started putting her clothes back on. "I never wanted to be a homewrecker, after that first time I promised myself never again, but you always pull me back in. I can't stay away from you, I can't tell you no." She sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "So you need to make a decision. If you don't choose me, I'll respect your choice but that'll be the end. There will be be no going back and changing your mind because I can't fucking do this." A painful sob escaped the blonde's mouth, her shoulders shaking with the weight of her words.

"I'm sorry." Addison pulled Meredith into her arms and began playing with her hair. "I never wanted to hurt you, you know how much I love you."

"I think I do anyway." Meredith took a deep breath. "If you really love me the way you say you do, you'll choose me."

"Baby, there's not even a choice." Addison chuckled and kissed the top of Meredith's head. "You're my entire world, I'll always choose you."

"Then why haven't you yet?" Meredith whispered against Addison's collarbone. "I've been patient Addie, but I'm running out of steam. I don't want to share anymore, I want you to be mine and mine alone."

"I want that too." Addison hummed as she inhaled Meredith's lavender shampoo, a soft smile coming to rest on her face. "I'm sorry for making you wait, for making you feel like you're not important to me. I'm just scared." She admitted with a sigh. "Derek and I barely talk anymore, we both know it's over, but if I end it he's going to think that he can get you back. I don't know what he'll do when you turn him down, let alone when he finds out about us. I just want to keep you safe and I feel like the only way to do that is making you miserable."

"So you're staying in a broken, loveless marriage just so Derek will leave me alone?" Meredith furrowed her eyebrows. "That's stupid."

"Maybe it's a little stupid." Addison chuckled as she brushed Meredith's tears away with her thumb. "I just love you more than I ever thought possible and I want you safe."

"I love you too Addie." Meredith beamed. "More than anything else in this world." She stepped up on her tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to Addison's mouth. "Unfortunately, I have to go. I'll see you later?"

"Yes, I will meet you at my hotel room at eight." Addison smiled and kissed Meredith sweetly. "I'll make it right, I promise."

"I believe you." Meredith assured her as she tucked a strand of red hair behind Addison's ear. "I'll see you tonight."

"Tonight." Addison echoed and kissed Meredith's hand before the blonde turned to leave. She fell backwards onto the bed with a groan, burying her face in the pillow. All she wants is to be able to officially be with Meredith, but she knows that finally telling Derek that she wants a divorce may not be the first step to happily ever after, but instead could end with the blonde hurt as nothing would be stopping Derek from pursuing her once again. After a few minutes she pushed off of the bed and got dressed. When she walked out of the on call room, she walked right into Derek. "Sorry Derek, I should pay better attention." She laughed nervously as she tried to walk away, only for Derek to grab her arm.

"What's going on with you?" Derek looked Addison up and down, trying to figure out what about her seemed off.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Addison deflected as she tried to pull her arm out of Derek's grasp. "Can I go?"

"We should go out for dinner tonight." Derek said as he let go of Addison's arm. "I feel like we've barely spoken more than four words to each other in the past two weeks."

"That's because we haven't." Addison chuckled nervously. "Dinner tonight though, I can't." She sighed. "I'm sorry but I have something to attend to that just can't wait."

"You can't or you don't want to?" Derek accused with a sharp tone. "You were the one who wanted to fix our marriage, yet the past few months you can barely stomach looking at me. If you want a divorce just have the balls to say it."

"I want a divorce." Addison whispered as she stared down at her feet.

"You what?" Derek scoffed.

"I want a divorce." Addison stated louder as she looked up to catch Derek's eye. "It's clearly not working out. Our marriage was over before I slept with Mark, neither of us were ready to admit it, but our marriage has been over for a while now, why keep dragging it on when clearly neither one of us are happy?"

"I was happy." Derek snapped. "I was happy for the two months you were in New York and I was here with Meredith, but no you just had to fly in here on your broom and ruin that for me!" His fist landed on the wall next to Addison's head, causing the redhead to jump.

"I'm sorry." Addison whispered, her voice cracking with fear

"You better hope that Meredith takes me back and that you didn't completely ruin my life." Derek spat through clenched teeth as he stalked away. Addison watched as he disappeared behind a corner, her tears finally falling as she moved to page Meredith.

"Addie? What's wrong?" Meredith knelt down next to Addison, pulling the redhead into her arms.

"I told Derek that I want a divorce and he got so mad." Addison sobbed into Meredith's shoulder. "He's planning to ask you out Mer, he told me I better hope that you take him back and that I didn't completely ruin his life."

"I'm not taking him back and he's just going to have to live with that." Meredith rolled her eyes. "I love you and only you. You are the only person I want to be with."

"You really mean that?" Addison murmured quietly as Meredith wiped her tears for her, eliciting a soft smile out of the redhead.

"I do." Meredith nodded. "I never meant to fall in love with you, but I did and I don't regret anything. Well, I kind of regret our first time being in a supply closet." She giggled.

"Well when I pulled you in there, my intentions weren't to take your clothes off." Addison laughed and kissed the top of Meredith's head. "So tonight?"

"Tonight." Meredith smiled and nodded. "I will meet you at the hotel after my shift." She kissed Addison gently before standing up. "Now get off your ass and get to work, I'm horny so you being stuck here after your shift ends finishing paperwork really doesn't work for me."

"So demanding." Addison shook her head as she stood up, a fond smile on her lips. "Frankly I'm also horny so being here past my scheduled time off isn't really going to work for me either." She kissed Meredith softly before pulling away. "I'll see you tonight!"

"Tonight." Meredith nodded as she turned to walk in the other direction, a small smile creeping up on her lips as she thought about having Addison all to herself, outside of hospital walls.