In A Faith Forgotten Land

8

After

Cristina arrived at the cemetery with a bottle of tequila and sat down in the grass between Meredith and Addison's headstones. She couldn't believe that it had already been five years since the murders, but not a day went by that she didn't miss Meredith or think about her and the memories they had together. The now attending surgeon smiled as she dusted off the blonde's headstone and opened the bottle of tequila, taking a large swig before pouring a little on Meredith's grave. "Don't worry, I wouldn't forget about you, if I'm taking a shot you get one too." She chuckled before turning to Addison's headstone. "I'd share with you too, but I don't know if you like tequila or not. Mer and I talked about you a lot, but she was always so busy gushing about how much she loved you that she forgot to tell me the important things. I know that you call hot chocolate juju, but not what your preferred alcohol is." She scoffed and rolled her eyes, playfully glaring at Meredith's headstone. "Always leaving out the important details, why would I care about how soft Addison's hair feels between your fingers? Oh that's right, I was expected to care because you cared." She chuckled and wiped a tear from her face. "What I never told you was that I did care. I'm sure deep down that you already knew that, but I always acted indifferent or like I couldn't care less. In reality I cared a lot. I cared about you being happy and she made you really, really happy." Cristina turned her head to look at Addison's headstone with a small smile as her eyes filled with tears. "Thank you for making her so happy. I'm sorry that you guys didn't get the ending that you wanted, that you deserved, but I'm happy that if you had to die that it was together because Mer wouldn't have been able to live without you." She released a heavy sigh as she lost the battle with her tears that were now cascading rapidly down her face as she turned back to the blonde's tombstone. "I miss you Mer, I miss you so fucking much." She buried her face in her hands as she cried, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs. After a while, she stood up and bid goodbye to Meredith and Addison until her next visit and walked back to her car.

Cristina numbly got into the driver's seat, blankly staring ahead until she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, her eyes suddenly snapping to the passenger seat where her wife watched her with a soft smile. "Are you doing okay? You know, I could go with you. You don't always have to visit them by yourself."

"I know." Cristina sighed. "It's just, this isn't how I wanted you to meet my best friend." She choked back a sob as more tears gathered in her eyes. "You would have loved her Teddy, it was impossible not to love Mer. She was dark and twisty, but there was also something bright and shiny inside of her that Addison brought out and it was beautiful." She smiled as Teddy leaned over to wipe her tears from her face before lightly kissing her on the lips. "I love you." She moved her hand down to Teddy's pregnant stomach, laughing softly when she felt their daughter kick. "I love you too, Meredith Adrienne Yang-Altman."

"You never did tell me where the middle name Adrienne came from." Teddy smiled.

"It's Addison's middle name. I thought it sounded better than Meredith Addison." Cristina explained. "Are you still okay with the name even though you didn't get to really have a say in it?"

"Yes, I promise." Teddy nodded with a smile. "You told me that if I wanted kids, that you were on board as long as you could use their name to honor your best friend and I completely understand that. I actually really like the name too."

"You and Addison probably would have been good friends." Cristina whispered. "Addison and I didn't really have a relationship, but the two of you are very similar from what Mer told me. It's crazy to think that she and I barely spoke outside of work matters, yet I know so much about her. Those three months that they were together, I learned things about her that made me respect her more. I stopped groaning and bitching every time I was on the Vagina Squad because I realized that even if I didn't like the specialty, I was still lucky to learn from Addison. Of course it was sometimes strange standing across her in surgery when I was given pretty graphic descriptions of what she sounded like in bed." She pretended to throw up, scrunching her nose in mock disgust as Teddy laughed.