In A Faith Forgotten Land

4

Before

"You're off this weekend, right?" Addison smiled as she sat down next to Meredith on a gurney in the basement.

"I am." Meredith nodded.

"I was thinking that we could go away this weekend, somewhere where we don't have to hide and sneak around." Addison suggested.

"It would be nice if we didn't have to hide and sneak around, wouldn't it?" Meredith hummed. "I would love to just be able to kiss you whenever I want without worrying about who might see."

"Meredith." Addison sighed. "I just need more time. Can you do that for me? Can you give me more time?" She practically begged, squeezing both of Meredith's hands in hers.

"I can." Meredith nodded. "I just don't know how much time I have left to give. As for this weekend, I would love to go away with you." She smiled and looked both ways before quickly pecking Addison on the cheek, noticing Derek out of the corner of her eye. "I'll see you later." She shot the redhead a small smile before walking away.

"Were you just talking to Meredith?" Derek asked with his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he approached Addison.

"I was." Addison nodded. "She had a question about a patient."

"She never talks to me anymore." Derek mused, absentmindedly rubbing his chin. "Has she mentioned me?"

"No." Addison smiled tightly and shook her head. "She was just asking a question about a patient."

"Alright, anyway I had a really nice time at dinner last night so I was thinking maybe we could do it again tonight?" Derek suggested with a smile that caused a tight knot to form in the pit of Addison's stomach.

"I too enjoyed the ten minutes you stared at your phone until you got paged back to the hospital." Addison snarked. "As for tonight, I'm not in the mood."

"You're never in the mood." Derek retorted. "For someone who wants to fix our marriage, you don't put a lot of effort in."

"Neither do you, but I guess since we both know that you don't want this marriage to work, that that's okay!" Addison exclaimed. "Why am I going to put in effort when I know that effort won't be returned? Why do you think I slept with Mark?"

"Because you're a whore." Derek snapped. "Don't act like there's an actual reason for you fucking my best friend when we both know that you're just a sad, desperate little whore."

"If that's what you want to believe I can't stop you." Addison sighed. "But whether you want to believe it or not, there is a reason that I slept with Mark and that reason is not because I'm a sad, desperate little whore."

"Oh please do tell me the reason Addison, I can't wait to hear how your inability to keep your clothes on isn't your fault." Derek scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You barely paid attention to me Derek. You treated me like a piece of old furniture and I was sad and I was lonely. I missed my husband but my husband couldn't even make it to our anniversary dinner, he sent his best friend to cover for him." Addison's tone was cold as she walked past Derek, her heart aching as she turned back to face him. "Why did you choose me if you haven't forgiven me? Did you just do it to punish me?" Her voice broke as she covered her mouth to muffle the sob building at the back of her throat.

"I don't know why I chose you." Derek confessed. "But I wish every day that I hadn't." He walked away, leaving Addison alone to cry, her mind racing as she sprinted to the bathroom and got sick in the first toilet she saw.

"Are you sick? Because if you are and you cancel your plans later, I'm going to have a very sad and inconsolable Meredith on my hands tonight." Cristina snickered outside of the stall. Addison groaned quietly as she wiped her face and exited the stall.