The Albatross [walker]

five.

"Shall we look at the moon, my little loon?
why do you cry?"
— forth of july by sufjan stevens

/ duke \
season 1, episode 5

I don't sleep at all, the conversation replaying in my head, wondering how I could have ignored his expression and moved on as if I hadn't seen it. I also think about why I am the way I am.

But he really did make a face. I don't want Stella to turn into what I turned into either, and I really hope she won't. But I'm sure she'll learn from her mistakes better than I learned from mine.

His text, even though it made me smile silly, it wasn't enough to shake the bad feeling away. After all, he apologized about the argument over the party, but not about the face he made.

When I finally decide to get out of bed this morning, I find a text from her inviting me to watch the soccer game at her school today.

I love seeing her play, and it's a perfect excuse to run into Cordell if he shows up. I feel like I need to talk to him.

I get ready for the day and leave my room.

I join Geri in the kitchen and start preparing breakfast for myself. She's already made her delicious coffee, so I'm sold. She looks at me with curious eyes.

I put some butter on my bread and wait for her to speak. It doesn't take long. "So, are you ready to talk now?"

I look up and take a bite of my bread. "Uh-huh. Actually, I'm going to work a little later in the afternoon. I'm going to watch Stella's soccer game."

Geri studies me. "That's fine. Have fun. But that's not what I'm talking about."

I know that, Geri. I'm well aware.

I lean back in my chair and pour coffee into my cup. She doesn't let it go when I don't answer. "Why were you so stressed last night? Did something happen?"

I take a sip of my coffee; it tastes delicious. "Yeah..." I clear my throat and put the cup back on the table, bracing myself for Geri's reaction. "Cordell and I had a little argument."

She looks at me with a poker face, remaining silent for a solid ten seconds. "I'm sorry, what? You and Cordell Walker?"

"Yes..."

"Wait..." She blinks a few times, almost smiling. "What in the world were you and Cordi arguing about?"

"I mentioned that my first community service was my last, so I have high hopes Stella will be okay, and he made a face." I take another sip of my coffee, avoiding eye contact because I know how ridiculous I sound.

She covers her mouth to suppress a laugh, and I stare at her blankly. "He made a face."

"Yes! He made a face!" I say defensively. "Like... he acted like I was saying she was gonna turn out like me or something."