On The Ropes

Round 16

DeAndre's POV

Tyreek is still in the psych ward.

Antwon is still mad at me.

Destiny is still on my mind.

And I feel like my life has been spiraling. Like one piece fell apart and destroyed it all—Tyreek got hurt and everything has gone downhill from there.

I've been locked up in the house ever since they took Tyreek away to the psych ward. I haven't spoken to anyone, including Antwon who seems to be ignoring me—I think I know why he is.

Tyreek always told him to avoid the news, but you can only avoid seeing your father and mother on the front pages for so long.

The thought made me shake my head as I lit my blunt while sitting on our balcony. All I've been doing is smoking blunt after blunt and sitting around, just thinking.

I wish I could stop thinking, but it's impossible. No matter how much I smoke, no matter how much I drink, I still think... About Tyreek, about Antwon, about Destiny.

It feels impossible to silence my own brain.

"Mr. Kingston?" I heard from the door, making me hum in response as I took another hit from my blunt. "Your phone has been ringin'. You left it in the kitchen... It's Mr. Montgomery." Zavier said as he handed me my phone. I hummed again, setting the phone down in my lap without looking at it. There was silence for a moment, then Zavier sat in the chair beside mine. "Mr. Kingston?" He called my name, making me raise my eyebrows. "Are you sad?"

I finally glanced up at him, seeing him staring at me with his brows furrowed. "Whatchu need, Zavier?" I asked instead.

His frown deepened, then he shrugged. "I just wanted to... Talk to you." He muttered, shrugging again as he looked down and started messing with his fingers. "Mr. Kingston still isn't home, and usually I talk to him just to tell him stuff, so I was wonderin' if you wanted to talk?"

I stared at him for a moment, then looked away and took a hit from the blunt again. "Bye, Zavier."

"Bye?" He asked. "Why? You don't wanna—"

"Zavier, go to your room." I muttered. "Or Antwon's room. Or wherever you go when you aren't here." There was a moment of silence, then low hums started to come from him, and I sighed as I looked at him again, watching as he rubbed his arms and rocked back and forth. "Zay, please don't start." I told him, but I was ignored as he quickly stood up and walked back inside. "Just stay in the house—" My words were cut off as he shut the door behind himself, and I let out another sigh as I looked back out at our yard.

Truthfully, I don't know how to be there for Zavier right now. Not when I feel the way I do. I can't play my role and Tyreek's role right now when I can't even dissect my own thoughts enough to function on a day to day basis.

I know I could have explained to Zavier that I can't be there the way he needs me to be right now, but the words just didn't come out that way... I feel like I don't even know the words to express myself anymore.

Eventually, I checked my phone, seeing missed calls from Red, Auntie, and Marcus. I stared at them blankly for a moment before sighing and putting my phone in my pocket, then stood before walking back into the house with my blunt still hanging from my lips. I made my way downstairs, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen when I saw Antwon walking around. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and turned around, pausing in his tracks when he saw me. We stared at each other in silence for a moment before his face slowly started to morph into a frown.

I watched him open his mouth, then he just scoffed and shook his head before brushing past me and leaving the kitchen without a word. I watched him leave, then shook my head and continued into the kitchen, reaching into one of the cabinets and grabbing a bottle of tequila, immediately pouring myself a shot and throwing it back. I winced slightly at the taste, then sighed and checked my phone again.