The Secrets We Keep

Episode 9: Deal with the Devil

"Do you really think that this stupid game is going to get rid of me, Alden Seraphiel?"

"There you are," Serf Seraphiel said, smiling. "No, it isn't to get rid of you Demon– it's to silence you."

I felt my throat contract once again, unwillingly chuckling a deep, disgusting laugh. "Such a brave face, but you are just a fool. I am not to be toyed with." It felt like I still had jurisdiction over my body, but I knew that Kako also had some sort of control. I started to panic.

"What's happening?" I whisper with my own voice.

"Noemi," Serf Seraphiel advanced, holding his arm out cautiously. "He is scared. He knows he doesn't have control of you right now and he is trying everything in his power to make you believe he does. This is a last attempt at him taking over, because he knows this technique will work in your favor."

My anxiety from the situation was obvious. I glanced at Cyrus, who was staring back with a worried expression. His eyes were large and his pupils were shaking in anticipation. I could see I had terrified him, and my heart broke at the realization.

"I think it's best if you both stay away," I murmur, voice shaking. "Someone might get hurt." They remain steady.

Why has Serf Seraphiel pushed me this far, knowing that Kako using me directly led to my father's death? Kako might be able to completely take over and I won't be able to stop whatever he does.

I thought back to the moment leading up to this.

Why am I even this angry over something so trivial? Get a grip.

"Nemmi," Cy speaks up, his voice cracking. "We aren't going anywhere." My panic subsides for a moment.

Suddenly, Kako's voice cut through my thoughts. "Shut up, boy," he snaps through me. "What are you even going to do to help? All you do is heal people. I could squash your puny body like a bug."

Cyrus held his hands up, retreating. His fear was palpable, but so was his determination. "I'm not going anywhere," he repeated.

The fear that subsided only moments ago came back instantly, even more forceful than before. "Why would you force me to do this, knowing what would happen?" I yell to Serf Seraphiel, trembling. His face softened.

"Because, you have to see that he can't completely take over unless you let him. The only way for him to take control is when you let your anger, fear, or sadness take control," he said as he stepped closer. "You must remain in power of your emotions to prevent him from having any authority over them."

I felt helpless. Serf Seraphiel wasn't understanding the gravity of the situation.

I'm not wise like he is, I can't handle this fear.

"I can't," I began crying. "I'm trying so hard, but I can't just not feel things! I'm so angry and scared and I don't know why! I-"

He cut me off, "I trust you," he said firmly. "Cyrus trusts you. The only reason anybody will ever have authority over you is if you let them. You have to fight it. This doesn't mean it'll be a quick end to your torture, but it means there is a possibility for it to end eventually." I look back at Cy and see him nodding his head, affirming that he, too, trusted me to remain strong enough. "You just have to continue practicing," Serf Seraphiel finished saying.

This is the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me. I was able to handle my father's abuse, I was able to handle being branded– but this is ...

"Fight it," Serf Seraphiel urged gently. "Not just with your willpower, but with your mind. His anger is amplifying yours massively. You must drown him out. Remember what we practiced."