How my life changes

6

'Lessi what can I call Izzy', I hear her cute voice say I look at her holding my hair and I smile

'Lu call her anything she will love it she told me last night she loves playing football with you', I say as she got on my lap and sat on it she knew I was going through hell

'Less I need you', Izzy shouts

'IZZY COME UP HERE THEN IM DOING MY HAIR AND IVE GOT A MONSTER ON MY LAP', I shout at her knowing if I have to go down I'll be angry

Izzy walks up and stares at me doing me hair and talking to Lucy about her and I look up and see Izzy stood there and I smile and wait for the kiss then I spray my hair and put the hair bobble in I place Lucy down and I stand up and jump in Izzy's arms and she catches me

'Izzy you okay baby', I say before kissing her

'Less I need a word in private Lucy can you go down and find a film and me and less will be down as soon as possible', Izzy says to Lucy and Izzy places me down and I sit and my desk and she sits on the bed and I look at her

'What's wrong baby I'm here to talk', I say to Izzy in a calm voice

'Okay um well im worried about you since you seem off is everything okay', Izzy says as she sees my eyes full with tears when she says she is worried about me she walks over to me and I put my head on her stomach and I cry

'Baby what's wrong talk to me', Izzy says to me and she crouches down in front of me just like the teachers would

'Izzy get up your like those fucking teachers that used to try and help me', I say looking at Izzy

'You wanna know why I'm off Izzy seeing Lucy brought me a flash back to when I lost my nan last year and all the emotions are and urges are back and I wanna do everything again', I say standing up and grabbing her hand and I sit down next to my mum and Izzy sits next to me

My mum looks at me and Izzy and I cuddle into my mum and look up at her and mouth I'm struggling and she notices it and she pulls me in closer and she is watching the news and sees that they want all footballers to be still training in the gardens or on a field

'Darling were you training the other day in the garden', she says

'Yea me and is try 3 times a week as I am unable to make myself to get out of bed mum', I say standing up and going to the bathroom

'WAIT LESS DONT IM SORRY', my mum shouts and she follows me as I walk out and I go to the garden w watch my phone and my mum bought a swimming pool our garden was massive and it was at the bottom of the pool Lucy and Izzy run our

I see in the distance Izzy with Lucy on her shoulders and I video them and Lucy knew how to swim and Izzy chucks her Into the pool and jumps in and looks at me I get in and us three mess around my dad walks out and smiles at us I dunked Izzy under water and me and Izzy got out and I go on the sun beds and I sun bath and Izzy walks over

'Less you okay', Izzy says

'Yeah I'm fine don't worry about me go have fun', I say to Izzy my mum walks out

'Right I'm going to pick you up ans we can cuddle or do you want to be chucked back in', Izzy says as she picks me up and walks over to the pool

'IZZY PUT ME DOWN I DONT WANT TO GO BACK IN', I scream and my mum just stands there laughing and Lucy gets out and runs to my mum

'3,2,1', Izzy says after 1 she chucks me in and I land on my front I stand up and try to get out and my eyes just fill with tears I make myself get up I walk inside and get changed into shorts and a sports bra and I lay down on my bed