SHOW ME HOW

Chapter 6

Lorenzo hasn't shown up at school since I dropped him off at the clearing yesterday—not that it's all that surprising. I won't pretend I wasn't worried, though. The way he looked—pale, clearly in pain—stuck with me.

I passed a few of his friends between classes, but I kept quiet. I didn't want to seem nosy, like I was prying into something that wasn't mine to ask about.

I've come to realize that, for years, I've been drifting through life in a kind of daze—disconnected from the world while others truly lived. It wasn't something I chose; most of the time, I was simply too unwell to focus on anything beyond surviving this awful illness. But now, it's as if I've just awoken from a long, heavy sleep, only to be struck by the full weight of reality. Suddenly, I'm seeing people and the world around me with fresh eyes, as if for the very first time.

I didn't have the energy to pack lunch today, so I ended up grabbing something from the cafeteria. It's usually just overly processed stuff or pre-made meals—not the healthiest—but I didn't have much choice after waking up late and feeling too drained to prepare anything myself. My mom's been working extra hours lately, picking up more shifts so she can cover the cost of my treatment. I know I won't be seeing much of her until she's reached that goal and that's how it has always been.

I wish I could just stop taking the medication I force down every day—it makes me feel sick every time. I hate that I have to eat before taking it too, like my body's not even mine anymore. Honestly, I just want to lift some of the burden off my mother—either by getting better or... not being here at all. I'm exhausted. Tired of this life, this cycle. Some days it feels like I can't find a single thing I don't resent.

Then, while I was standing in line at the cafeteria, the red-haired girl from history class stepped in behind me.

"Hey, Devin," she said, her tone bright. Fortunately, I still remembered her name—she'd been the kindest person I'd met since starting at this school.

"Hi, Emily," I replied with a smile as she stepped up beside me.

"How've you been?" she asked.

"I'm doing well. How about you?"

She let out a quiet, nervous sigh. "I'm okay... would it be alright if I sat with you for lunch? I just don't feel like being alone today," she asked, catching me off guard. The uncertainty in her voice made my chest ache a little—she looked so unsure of herself, almost embarrassed. I'd never really seen her with anyone before; every time I noticed her, she was either walking the halls alone or sitting by herself. I always noticed her because her vibrant red hair was hard to miss.

"Yeah, sure," I said, not wanting to come off as rude by turning her down—even though being around people isn't exactly my favourite thing. Still, I'd never intentionally be unkind to anyone.

I grabbed a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, an orange, and a bottle of water. Emily picked up a hotdog and a bottle of water and trailed behind me once we had our food.

As we headed out of the school building, three girls stopped us. Two of them were the two gossip girls from the bathroom the other day. Emma stood in front of us, flanked by the girl whose name still escaped me and another I didn't recognize—but both were regulars in her orbit. The trio looked like they were posing for a dramatic movie poster, standing there with all the intensity of the Avengers.

Emma looked like she meant business as she stepped into my path, arms folded tightly across her chest. "Where did you and Lorenzo disappear to yesterday?" she asked, eyes narrowing in a deliberate attempt to rattle me.

Do I fear them?

That's not something I can afford—not when I've stared down death itself a few times and still have it looming in my body.