SHOW ME HOW

Chapter 6

I haven't seen Lorenzo back at school after dropping him off at the clearing yesterday, for obvious reasons. I won't lie, I was a little concerned after seeing him so pale and in so much pain. I saw his friends in between classes, but I didn't want to come across as nosy by asking if he was ok.

I came to the realization that I have been living in a dazed reality all these years and that these kids actually had a life while I was wasting away the only life I had. Not that I had a choice in the matter most of the time. I was obviously too sick to care about anything other than fighting this horrid disease most of my life. Though, it felt like I just woke from a deep slumber, and I'm faced with the weight of reality. It's like I'm only noticing people and things now for the first time in my life.

I didn't feel like packing any lunch today, so I had to buy the cafeteria food. It's overly processed ingredients or readymade meals most of the time and it's very unhealthy, but today I had no other choice because I got up late and was too lazy to pack my own. My mother has been working and I know I won't see her that much until she has made the money required for my treatment. She took on more shifts so that she could pay for it.

I wish I was able to stop the medication I was shoving down my throat every day. Taking it made me feel ill every single time I took it. I hate having to force myself to eat something before taking them as well. I just want to ease my mother's burden by either dying or to fully recover, but at this point I'm tired of this life.

Argh! What don't I hate at this point in my meaningless life.

The red-haired girl I met in history class came and stood behind me in the cafeteria line.

"Hey Devin" she greeted. Luckily, I still cared to remember her name because she was the friendliest person I've met here since attending the school.

"Hi Emily" I replied, giving her a smile as she came and stood beside me.

"How have you been?" she asked.

"I'm good and you?".

She nervously sighed "I'm ok, would you mind if I joined you for lunch? I don't feel like sitting alone today" she asked, out of the blue and I instantly felt bad seeing how awkward and embarrassed she was. It didn't seem as though she had friends. Every time I saw her, she was either walking alone or sitting by herself.

"Yeah, sure" I said, not wanting to be rude to her by saying, no, even though I hate being around people, but I will never be rude to anyone on purpose.

I bought myself a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, an orange and a bottle of water. Emily bought a hotdog, a bottle of water, and followed me when we got our food.

On our way out of the school building, I was stopped by three girls. The one was the blonde girl, Emma who I recognized from English class and then there were two girls next to her whom I don't know the names of, but I remembered their faces. They were Emma's friends.

Emma looked like she was down for business as she blocked my way with her arms folded in front of her chest "where did you and Lorenzo head off to yesterday?" she asked squinting her eyes, trying to intimidate me.

I can't bring myself to be afraid of anyone if I'm not afraid of death itself.

"How is that any of your business?" I asked, scrunching my face up in a fake confusion.

She glanced towards her friends and giggled evilly with her head in the air before swinging her finger in my face "you listen and you listen to me well" she said, shoving said skinny finger into my chest, luckily not on the side where I have the port installed "you stay away from him if you know what's good for you and don't let me remind you again. Do we understand each other?" she asked, straightening my t-shirt.