As weeks passed, Bey gradually began to heal. The panic attacks became less frequent, but the shadow of anxiety still lingered, lurking just beneath the surface. Determined to overcome her struggles on her own, she vowed to handle everything without burdening anyone else, especially her family.
However, her eldest daughter, Blue, noticed the change in her mother. While Bey smiled and tried to maintain a facade of normalcy during family time, Blue caught glimpses of her mother’s quiet battles. On one particular afternoon, while Bey thought she was alone, Blue peeked into the bathroom and saw her mom taking deep breaths, her hands pressed against the sink as she fought back tears.
“Mom?” Blue called softly, concern etched across her face.
Bey quickly composed herself, wiping her eyes and forcing a smile. “Just a little overwhelmed, sweetheart. I’m fine,” she replied, but Blue could see through the lie.
“Are you sure? Because I can call Dad if you need help,” Blue offered, her voice filled with genuine concern.
Bey’s heart sank at the suggestion. “No, don’t do that, Blue. I can handle it,” she insisted, the tension in her voice betraying her.
Blue furrowed her brow. “But Dad said if you ever need anything—”
“It’s nothing, really,” Bey interrupted, forcing a smile again. “I just need a moment. I promise I’m okay.”
Though Blue nodded, she didn’t believe her mother completely. The truth was, Bey was far from okay. She bottled up her emotions, expertly hiding her panic and sadness behind a mask of cheerfulness. Every day felt like a juggling act, and she was determined to keep it all from collapsing. She thought of how much her family had already done for her and didn’t want to add to their burden.
At dinner that night, Bey put on her best smile, engaging in conversations with her family, but inside, she felt like she was drowning. She watched as Blue laughed with Jay, and the guilt seeped in again. How could she burden them with her struggles when they were doing their best to keep things normal?
After the dishes were cleared away and the kitchen was quiet, Bey retreated to her room. She sat on the edge of her bed, staring into space as tears threatened to spill. She wanted to cry, to release the pent-up emotions that swirled inside her like a storm, but she held them in. Bey had always been good at controlling her feelings, but now it felt more like a prison than a refuge.
In those quiet moments alone, she often thought of Jay’s comforting words. “You’re my priority.” But every time she reached for help, a voice inside her whispered that she was strong enough to handle this on her own.
As she lay in bed that night, Bey closed her eyes, feeling the weight of her solitude press down on her. She wished things could be different, that she could let her guard down, but the fear of burdening her family kept her from reaching out. She wanted to be the strong, capable mother they needed, but inside, she was still battling the shadows of her mind—alone.
Little did she know, Blue was watching, waiting for the moment her mom would let someone in again.
