One evening, Bey gathered Blue, Rumi, and Sir in the living room, the weight of her secret pressing heavily on her heart. She knew it was time to be honest with them, to share what had been plaguing her mind. Taking a deep breath, she sat down with them, her hands trembling slightly.
“Guys, I want to talk to you about something important,” Bey began, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside her. The twins looked at her with wide eyes, sensing the seriousness of the moment. Blue leaned forward, concern etched on her face.
“It’s about the times I’ve been feeling... not okay,” Bey continued, struggling to find the right words. “I had a miscarriage a while back, and it really hurt me. I thought I was okay, but it’s been hard to cope. Sometimes, I feel like I can’t breathe, and I panic.”
As she spoke, the emotion welled up in her throat, and she fought back tears. The memories of that painful experience flooded her mind, threatening to overwhelm her. She took a deep breath, reminding herself to stay grounded, but the panic began to creep in again. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” she whispered to herself, holding her chest as it tightened.
“Mommy, are you okay?” Rumi asked, her big eyes wide with concern. Sir reached for her hand, and Blue looked ready to jump in, her instinct to help kicking in.
“I just need a minute,” Bey insisted, trying to steady her breathing. “I promise I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe we should call Dad?” Blue suggested gently, her voice filled with worry.
“No,” Bey replied firmly, shaking her head. “I don’t want to bother him. I can handle this.” She felt the room spinning slightly, but she pushed it aside, determined to not let her children see how much she was struggling.
“Can we help?” Sir asked, looking hopeful.
“Water? Fanning?” Rumi chimed in, glancing at the small handheld fan on the table.
Bey smiled softly but shook her head again. “No, really. I just need a moment. I’ll be fine.” She felt the dizziness intensify but forced herself to stay calm. She fanned herself with her shirt, taking deep breaths while clutching her chest, which felt tight and uncomfortable.
“I’ll be right back,” she said, trying to sound reassuring as she got up from the couch. As she made her way to the kitchen, her vision blurred slightly, and she stumbled against the wall. “Just breathe,” she told herself, willing the dizziness to pass.
In the kitchen, she filled a glass with cold water and drank it down quickly, the coolness refreshing her parched throat. After a moment, she felt steadier and took a few deep breaths, letting the water settle.
When she returned to the living room, she squared her shoulders and forced a smile. “See? I told you guys I’d be fine,” she said, trying to sound more confident than she felt.
The concern on her children’s faces didn’t fade, and she could see their worry was still palpable. She walked over to each of them, bending down to give them individual hugs. “I love you all so much. I’m sorry I worried you,” she said, holding them close, feeling their warmth seep into her.
Blue hugged her tightly. “We just want you to be okay, Mom,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
“I know, sweetheart. I’m working on it,” Bey replied, squeezing Blue a little tighter. She felt a wave of love for her children and realized that while she wanted to protect them from her struggles, sharing her truth was a step toward healing.
As she released them from the hug, she vowed to continue working through her feelings, knowing that her family would be there for her every step of the way, even when she was hesitant to reach out for help.
