guys I'm in love

intro

So we found each other a two months ago on dc and we've been talking EVERYDAY since the VERY FIRST DAY

15 days in, he showed up saying like 'hm I can't stop thinking about you.'

I call him tinnitus and I came up with the nickname around then because he was ringing my head like crazy since day 1.

I responded 'hm whats the nature of these thoughts' cause I was already romantically attracted to him by then but like I didn't bother admitting to myself or him because it felt useless and my feelings weren't even that deep yet.

He said 'um you guess' and that got my eyebrows raising. I responded 'that line is always sus. Is it smthng romantic?'

And he said yes.

I was pleasantly surprised at the bluntness.

😭😭😭😭 I stopped writing this to go reread the chats he's so fucking sweet.

Anyway I gave a sorta half and half answer that yes I harbor romantic feelings for you but I have never had a friend man so I want a friend also and you're so great I don't wanna jump the gun.

He still chose to love me lol and talked to me everyday even when i gave such a SHITTY ANSWER I WOULD HATE ME BRO

and a few days later, because he's so fucking nice, we shared face pics (he looks just as i imagined) and said our I love yous and if you feel its too quick - I wanted to say it he wanted to say it so we fucking said it. Screw the stereotype of love being a big word because there are other words out there that mean so much more.

Anyways we live like 600-something kilometres away from each other so it's an online relationship for now. Idk how well I'll do in irl tho. I'm awkward asf but he knows that and he's comfortable with it as well. He's been face to face with my improperly socialized being multiple times and still loves me.

We sext often and it's so very fun because our fantasies match up like a jigsaw puzzle. We said our I love yous before talking sex and damn whoda thunk a random boy would have the SAME KINKS AS ME it's creepy now.

Y'all know how it goes now - the fake scenarios and imagining our future together so I'm just gonna dump everything there.

I initially was and am dumping everything on a Google doc i created on 12sept as you'll see further.

At around 10th of october, we started sexting.

I'm sharing with you guys some of this because I know some of you are deep in depression and anxiety and believe you'll never find the one. I was there a year ago and I was convinced as well but that's not the case.

guys.

God is on your side. The entire universe comes around. If you're praying and hoping and wanting so bad, lemme guarantee you here that one day you are going to find that thing, that person and you're gonna be so grateful because they will be everything you have ever dreamed of.

They will be your salvation.

Trust me on this one.