Shards: Book One of the Anderian Series

Chapter 27: Connection

I woke up sweating despite the chill in the air. Cian's long, muscular frame pulled double time as a blanket and radiator, and despite many attempts throughout the night to escape his embrace, I found myself pressed firmly against his chest, his arms looped around my waist as he snored softly in my ear. Any other girl would consider this the height of her romantic fantasies.

Not me. A knot formed in my throat, constricting my ability to breathe. Even worse, it differed from the panic I'd experienced before when intimacy became overwhelming. This was more intense. More consuming. Because coupled with the fear of being rejected if he really saw me for who I was the terrifying realization that his rejection would truly matter. I wanted this thing between us, not because it made me feel less lonely, but because...

I shot upright as something Cian said last night hit me. Completion. He felt that when he healed me, and I felt it, too. Like a second heartbeat thrumming in my chest, and it pulsed with the same rhythm of the Andarien's breathing.

"What the fuck?" I muttered, scooting away from him as his dark lashes rose, revealing glacier eyes.

In an instant, he was alert, tracking me as I moved farther from him, but confusion warred with something else. A hunger that intensified every time his gaze dipped below my neck, and I remembered I was completely nude—and my top was destroyed.

Cian's fingers curled around my ankle just before I was out of reach, and he tugged, drawing me between his thighs. My lady parts cheered when his cock jerked at my renewed proximity, but despite our intimate position, he didn't make a move to seduce me. Which was as much of a disappointment as it was a relief.

"Look at me, Bria." He cupped the back of my neck and forced me to hold his gaze. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," I lied.

"Don't tell me you regret what happened?"

"I don't." I wouldn't lie about that. What transpired between us—twice before the sun broke over the trees—was a pleasure beyond anything I'd ever experienced. And the bone deep connection I felt with this man made it better. The man who was going to kill me.

"Then why are you running away?" Hands beneath my ass, he raised me up and settled me on the tip of his cock, not moving his hips or lowering me slowly. Just forcing me to feel his heat nudging my core while his fingers slid between my butt cheeks and forced them apart.

"For fuck's sake," I snapped, putting my hands on his shoulders and rocking my hips. It was a mystery to me whether I was encouraging him or trying to get away.

"That's not an answer." With a nip on my bottom lip, he jerked his hips, sliding inside of me without resistance, and withdrew completely before I could gasp.

"Please." How quickly my resolve disappeared with a single taste. His absence left me aching and hollow. A tear slipped down my cheek.

Cian swore and took my mouth with his while his hands moved up my back, allowing me the freedom to sink down on him. My arms curled around his neck as I deepened our kiss, and our bodies pressed against each other so tightly no light passed between us. For the longest time, neither of us moved our lower halves, content with being joined as we explored with our mouths.

The tenderness of his touch, the way he ran his fingers through my hair—it was all such a stark contrast to the fierce coupling last night. Then, I wanted him to take physical ownership of my body. Using me to take his pleasure. But now as I rolled my hips, pleasure hooking deep within, I realized every soft sigh and gentle stroke staked a deeper claim.

"Oh my god," I panted, curling my fingers into his hair and pressing my face into his neck. He held me tighter, his fingers splayed across my lower back as I worked myself over him.