Shards: Book One of the Anderian Series

Chapter 29: Toxic

  When I woke this time, there was no confusion about whether I was in heaven or hell. Not unless those places were mundane bedrooms with dusty ceiling fans and cheap bedspreads smelling faintly of mildew. A throbbing pain spread across the back of my skull, making my eyes water and the contents of my stomach threaten to rise when I sat up. The pain was the first clue Cian wasn't here. Even if he didn't care for me—and right now, I would admit he did—the man wasn't the kind to let someone hurt for long, though I doubted he would have any qualms about causing agony to whoever took me away from him.

"Bria, steady." Large, dark hands pushed against my shoulders, easing me back to the bed, and hazel eyes roamed over my face at a speed that made them appear as if they were vibrating.

"Jac."

My former partner grinned, his eyes going to thin slits that pushed out the tears that had slowly been forming as he stared at me. They rolled down his cheeks and splashed onto my hands. A few days ago, all I wanted was to see him again and to know he was okay, but all I wanted to know now was if they had harmed Cian.

"I thought you were dead," he said, pressing a hard kiss to my forehead while cradling the back of my head, careful to avoid the point of injury. Releasing me, he adjusted the pillow behind me and used his hip to nudge me over enough to allow him to sit comfortably on the bed beside me.

"You know it's harder than that to get rid of me." I tugged the covers up to my neck. He wasn't even touching me, but the intimacy in his gaze was unnerving and reminded me the Amouri connection between us was still strong. "What happened?"

"After the fire, Tiffany told me you were dead, but I noticed I was suddenly being left out of the conversations. Even Kay, who usually tries to play mediator, wouldn't tell me anything other than the Coalition was regrouping, now that the last Shard Keeper was dead."

A tremble went through his body, and the tendons in his jaw pulled so tight I feared it might snap. Giving him a moment to pull himself together, I took the opportunity to really look at him. He'd lost weight, and his hair, which he normally kept in tight curls close to his scalp, stuck up in disheveled ringlets. A few silver threads wove their way through the black and honey. Matching scruff grew on his chin and up the deep hollows of his cheeks, and shadows bruised the space beneath his eyes. But it was the mis-buttoned, wrinkled blue shirt that sent me into a panic mode. I'd worked with him on cases that drove us to the brink of exhaustion, but even when he could barely hold his eyes open his clothes were impeccable.

"Jac, are you okay?"

He sucked in a sharp breath. "Am I okay? Bria, I spent the last five days thinking you were dead. Do you know how hard it was for me to walk away from you when we broke up? I thought that was the worst pain I would ever experience, but living away from you was nothing compared to believing I was living in a world where you didn't exist anymore."

The declaration might have been romantic if it wasn't for the manic gleam in his eyes as he spoke, or the bit of spittle that sprayed from his mouth. The old me would have latched onto his admission that our break up caused him grief and reminded him it was his decision, but it barely registered.

"But I'm here. I'm fine." Bile shot up my throat as a slight movement intensified the ache in my head. "And I think we need to figure out how to break this Amouri connection, so you don't have to experience that ever again."

It wasn't what I wanted to say. I wanted to prod him for more information about how I ended up here, but more importantly, I wanted to find out if Cian was okay. Maybe I could relate a bit to what Jac described. Knowing Cian wasn't with me was an ache almost as terrible as the one in my head.

"Break our connection?" He recoiled. "Why would we do that? I strengthen you, and you... complete me. I love you, Bria."

"J-Jac..."