Queen

Aurora

Although I left home and no one stopped me, I knew they didn't because they admitted they were wrong and I needed space.

I didn't go to my new place, instead I went to my secret place. I found it 2 3 years ago. I come here often to think when things get tough

I thought back to the first time, when Jer snapped at me for asking about Vaughn. Then Killian did the same. Gareth and Nikolai stopped talking altogether.

I realised one thing, and that was- we were all falling apart. I realised if it was any of the other boys and Vaughn was still here, it would be the same.

While I was thinking about me, I realised I never thought about them. I never asked them how they were doing. Yes they fucked around. But I never saw that it was five or none for them. I never realised that they might have not touched me with the fear of hurting me.

What I never did was be there for them, tell them it's okay, and they could talk to me if it gets too much. I never asked or talked to them other than Vaughn. I didn't ask them how they were keeping up.

Killian often came home covered in blood and bruises. But I stopped caring for him. I had seen Gareth and Nikolai coming home drunk and wasted, but I never bothered to look out for them. I had seen Jer become a monster, but I never cared to stop him.

It was me who had distanced myself from them. It was me who had pushed them so far. It was me who only cared for Vaughn who I didn't know was where or doing what while not giving a fuck about my other boys who were in front of me all the time.

I felt tears running down my eyes and I felt the pain. I hurt them. God I hurt them so bad. I had my decision.

I was going back home. I was going back to my boys. And I got up and drove straight back home.

I barged in and nobody stopped me instead they all look at me concerned because I was a mess after crying so bad.

When I entered the living room, all heads snapped up to me. Seeing me so messed up, they all ran to me and started looking if I was hurt or anything. They didn't care I had left the house. They only cared about me being okay.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." I sobbed going down on my knees.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt, princess? Talk to us please." Killian asked holding my face but I shook my head.

"Tell me what's wrong? Why are you so badly messed up? How much did you cry babe? Get up?" Jer picked me up bridal style and carried me to my room.

He sat down with me still in his arms. I hugged his neck and sobbed hard. I had messed up things so bad.

"Aurora, you have to tell us baby what's wrong. I know you left because you were angry and you were right. Because we all hurt you baby. But you coming back like this all messed up and crying only makes us more worried and anxious doll." Gareth rubbed my bac sitting next to Jer.

"Gary is right babe. Look at me, yeah. Come on." Nikolai was behind me in front of Jer.

I turned around and Jer wiped my tears. I could see they were hurting with me as well. How did I not see it all this time? How I turn a blind eye to their suffering? How did I let them suffer and hurt so much? I was meant to love them, but I caused them so much trouble.

"Now, be a good girl that you are and tell us babe. What happened out there after you left?" Killian asked taking my hand in his own and drawing circles, which seemed to calm me down a bit.

"Nothing. Nothing happened. I just.. I realised it wasn't your fault at all. It was all me all this time. You didn't do anything wrong. Yes, you cheated on me. And it's only because I distanced myself from you all. You had to take out your frustration somewhere and even though it wasn't the only way, still I pushed you to that extent." I said and they all listened.